


Pandemonium

by Neonflowerbot



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, marauders - Fandom
Genre: Death Eaters, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Hogwarts, Loss, Love, Love/Hate Relationship, Marauders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7089124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neonflowerbot/pseuds/Neonflowerbot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxanne King thinks that secrecy is the best way to keep herself safe, and others safe from her. When her life suddenly changes, in the form of unexpected friendships, uncontrollable tempers, and chaotic revelations from her family, Roxy must decide how important her old secrets really are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Tap, tap, tap.

 

Roxanne King sighed. Once again attempting to concentrate on the tower of homework that sat on the desk in front of her, her quill tapping against its rough, wooden edge. The rhythmic, consistent sound of the quill against the hard surface started to make her eyes flutter. But just as soon as she was about to be lost in the land of slumber, the quill was plucked out of her hands, the sudden shock causing her to jump awake. Large, honey brown eyes darted around in confusion before they fell upon fiery haired girl across from her.

Lily Evans emerald eyes narrowed and an irritated look written across her pale face. They had been in the library working on that weeks pile of essays when Roxy found herself growing tired, barely grasping the information in the books spread out before her. Lily's face softened, she knew her friend was never one to slack when it came to school, either there was something plaguing her mind or she was truly exhausted.

 

"What boys on you mind?" Lily teased, a grin spreading across her face. Roxy shook her head, giggling tiredly.

"No one. I've just been having trouble concentrating lately. Mixture of exhaustion and.... I've been waiting for a letter.. From my Mother." Lily's smile changed from amusement to a frown.

"Lets head back then." She suggested, attempting to be as understanding as she could. Lily had never had to worry about her parents, even though they were muggles they always made sure to send her a letters with the tiny white owl she had purchased when she was eleven years old. But for some reason her best friend hardly received letters from her family, but the odd time she expected one she would become agitated with worry if it didn't arrive on time. Though Lily had gotten used to Roxy's odd and secretive behaviour long ago, she always felt sadness that her friend never truly confided in her.

Standing, the pair returned their books to the shelves. Lily making sure to place them back where she had found them, while Roxy slipped them into random sections. A sleepy grin on the later girls face. Shouldering their book bags, they quietly left the library towards Gryffindor tower. Both Lily and Roxy had been sorted into Gryffindor house six years previous, they had met that night during the feast and had become fast friend, now in their seventh year they classified each other as best friends.

Roxy groaned, shifting her bag onto her opposite shoulder. Seventh year was proving to be much more difficult and time consuming then any year previous. Having NEWTs to worry about, as well as graduation, she wished time would slow down. Hogwarts corridors were mostly empty as night approached and curfew inched closer with every minute, but the girls didn't find themselves too concerned with the fact. This year Lily had been chosen as Head girl, with her Prefect position left open it was passed on to Roxy, giving them the privilege to walk the hall at night without suspicion.

"Fortuna Major!" Roxy yawned. A chill ran up her back, reminding her that winter would be upon them any day. She found herself frowning as she stepped passed the Fat Lady's portrait into the busy Gryffindor common room.

Students lounged, socializing with friends and tackling homework. Roxy assumed some were due the next day as she passed a student messily scribbling across his parchment, red in the face. There was a buzz in the air, an excitement as students discussed the approaching Hogsmead trip and next Quidditch match. With an exaggerated yawn, Roxy turned around to big her friend goodnight when the redhead suddenly growled, her tiny feet stomping off towards the fireplace. Spotting a certain group of pranksters, definitely up to no good, she chuckled. Decided against following Lily, she spun on her heel and hurried up the girls staircase towards the Seventh year dormitory.

'Empty', she noticed as she lazily dropped her book bag in the center of the room, knowing full well that she'd get an earful from Lily. Without a second thought on the matter, she tore off her uniform as she rummaged through her trunk, more then happy to feel the warmth and comfort of her old flannel pyjama pants which she paired with a black tank top. Throwing herself onto her bed, a piece of parchment and quill taken from her bedside table, she readied herself to begin yet another letter addressed to her mother. The tip of the quill barely touched the parchment when a sudden rapping at the window caused her to jumping, ink splattering across her bed. Grumbling, she tossed her writing materials aside on her way over to the window. Throwing it open, she didn't bother given the bird a moment to enter before she tore the letter from its leg.

Tearing the letter open, ripping the parchment slightly, she began to read.

" _Dear Mary_  
 _Your eyes are beautiful like the rise of the morning sun...."_

"What the f - Your secret admirer? Are you kidding me." The moment of excitement burnt out suddenly as she realized that it was indeed not a letter from her Mother, but instead an idiotic, 'an badly written if I say so myself', love letter two her friend and roommate, Mary McDonald. She couldn't help herself from wondering what type of boy had such low self esteem that he reverted to creepy anonymous letters? Could he not approach her friend during lunch? Then again, Mary could be intimidating with her large, bubbly personality.

'Perhaps a younger student, or some buffoon in Hufflepuff.' She thought to herself. There was no way this boy was from Gryffindor, he didn't seem to possess an ounce of courage. Suddenly, a smirk crawled across her lips. The type of smirk that little deemed evil, calculating and worrying on many occasions. She didn't allow the nagging 'Lily voice' in her head to dissuade her from her sudden idea. Quickly snatching the parchment and quill from her bed, ignoring the stained covers, she quickly jotted down a reply to Mary's letter. With a flourish, she signed it 'Roommate'.

After an hour had passed, Roxy found herself reading the chapters she had been assigned in Charms, her mothers letter sent long ago. She rubbed her tired eyes with the base of her palm when the door to the dormitory burst opened, four girls piling in as they loudly discussed the Marauders antics. Standing, her legs feeling like jelly, Roxy handed Mary her letter, disrupting their conversation just before Lily broke out in another rant about 'the git'.

"How charming!" Marlene Mckinnon gushed, dirty blonde hair bouncing. Roxy narrowed her eyes at her roommate. The two girls had never been close, they could barely stand to be in the same room as one another most days. Roxy found herself wanting to ripped out her own hair with annoyance at the other girl some days.

"You are kidding? Right?" Roxy asked. "Charming? Try lame and creepy! It's probably a younger student anyways." Roxy said as she turned away from the girls and climbed back into her now clean bed. Between writing her letters and reading she had cleaned her sheets with a wave of her wand.

"Have you no romantic bone in your body?" Dorcas meadows smiles sweetly towards he friend. Roxy rolled her eyes towards the soft spoken and kind girl. Unlike Marlene, Dorcas and Roxy had become fast friends during their first year at Hogwarts, though she couldn't completely understand the girls optimism, life was not that positive.

"Nope, just the regular kind." Roxy answered cheekily. Dorcas chuckled, while Lily rolled her eyes, before they both followed her suit and crawled into bed. Curtains closing behind them to block out the light in the dormitory.

Roxy ignored the look of disgust Marlene happened to shoot her way and instead turned her attention towards Mary, who sat at the end of her bed re-reading her letter. Deciding against mentioning the letter she had sent to her friends secret admirer, knowing full well that they'd be unhappy with her actions. Possibly forgoing speaking to her for a full week. Keeping the information to herself was definitely her best bet. Pulling her scarlet curtains shut around her four post bed, she crawled under the warm covers, laying back she attempted to fall asleep as Mary and Marlene discussed possible identities to her admirer.

For the last six year Roxy had shared a dorm with the same girls, and nothing had ever changed. Lily and Mary had hit if off with her quickly during the Welcome feast. Mary was talkative and girly while Lily was smart and mature, even at the age of eleven they blended in perfectly with Roxy's sarcastic and joking demeanor. It was different when she met Marlene, though the other girls seemed to get on with her well, it felt as if she wanted to compete against Roxy, wanting to constantly prove that she was better then her roommate. It irritated her to no end, erasing any chance of the two girls becoming friends. Then there was Dorcas, shy and mousy, it had taken her a couple weeks to get used to the other girls big personalities. But when she had finally become comfortable with her roommate, Roxy found that she fit perfectly with herself, Lily and Mary.

Roxy knew that she couldn't have found any better friends, they made Hogwarts feel like home and help distract her from the problems she faced. Like her mother. It had been a month since she had heard of her, which it unnerved her deeply.

Deep in thought, Roxy hadn't realized she had fallen asleep until she had woken in the middle of the night by a nightmare she couldn't even remember. Soaked in sweat, panting, she slid passed her heavy curtains into the pitch black room. The rhythmic breathing told her that her friends were in a deep sleep. Unable to fall back asleep after such a terrifying dream, though she couldn't remember it, she could feel how scare she was. Her heart nearly jumping out of her throat, hands shaking. Grabbing her book bag, she slipped out of the dormitory and quietly down the stairs.

She need a place to think, somewhere warm and comfortable. The large red sofa in front of the fireplace in the common room called to her. Stepping off the last step, she spotted the frosted windows, cold air leaking into the room. Cursing herself for not grabbing a sweat shirt, she hurried her pace towards the dark fireplace. With a wave of her wand, flames sprung to life creating a glow across the room, heat radiating off the embers warming her skin.

Sighing, content, she turned around to sit on the couch only to find it vacated. It didn't take her long to recognized the boy, his dark, curly locks and strong jaw were only some of the reasons girls fell head over heels for him.

Roxy refused to retreat back up the stairs into her dark dormitory. She couldn't sleep. She wouldn't. She was wide awake and her friends would be peeved if she had woken them at such a late hour. Sirius Black, Gryffindor prankster and heart throb would be ruin her night, she decided. Gripping her wand, Roxy pointed it towards the slumbering boy. A sly grin upon her face she levitated him off the couch, attempting to lay him gently on the floor when she accidentally dropped him prematurely.

A chuckle and a shrug later, she hopped onto the now vacant couch, ignoring the loud and angry growl that erupted from the floor. As Roxy pulled out a textbook, intent on reading ahead in her Transfiguration lesson, she ignore Sirius' grunts and growls as he lifted himself off the floor and approached the back of the couch. Clearly interested in seeing who was brave enough to do such a thing to The Sirius Black. Roxy chuckled at the thought. She could feel his presence as he neared but refused to look up and acknowledge him, and the glare he would surely be sending her way.

"Ahem." He coughed, attempting to gather her attention. Roxy bit her lip, fighting the urge to smile. Eyes cast towards her book, she didn't both trying to read.

"King." He said between clenched teeth.

"Jester." She smirked, looking up at him. Another growl erupted from the bottom of his throat, reminder her a dog.

"I. Was. Asleep."

"I. Was. Aware." Her smile only growing. He looked rough and disheveled, still in his uniform.

"And why couldn't you simply wake me? You know, instead of propelling me across the damn room!" He his voice raising with each word until he was shouting, not caring that the rest of the tower was asleep. 'How selfish', she thought, ignoring the fact that she also had acted selfishly.

"It was quite amusing." Roxy smirked before sighing, rolling her eyes. "It was an accident." "

"You.. King! I'm going to -" Suddenly, Sirius stopped and to Roxy's horror, smiled. "I'm not going to do a single thing about it."

"Pardon?" She asked wide eyed.

"Not tonight that is." His smile shifted, Roxy could only explain it as 'pure bloody evil'. Her eyes trailing after he as he walked off towards the stairs and out of sight.

'That's not good.' Roxy thought to herself.

The Marauders were famous amongst the student body for their pranks. She fell back against the couch, groaning at her own stupidity, definitely not looking fowards to the following day. Roxy had never had much of a relationship with any of the Marauders. They had occasionally sat amongst her friends during meals, laughing at their jokes and childish antics as Lily scolded them. A handful of times she had found herself paired with them during classes. But that was it, to them she was merely Lily and Mary's friend, or just another Gryffindor. She definitely wasn't anyone special in their books, until the moment she woke Sirius Black by levitating and dropping him on the common room floor. Suddenly, Roxy found herself on the Marauders list. Hit list that is.

Roxy woke up the next morning, feeling twitchy and nervous about the day to come. She amused herself with the idea of hauling up in bed and feigning sick when her curtains were suddenly flung open to reveal the bright smile of Lily Evans. She really hated how much of a morning person her friend was.

"Get up! Get up! Get up!" Lily said, tugging at her lazy friends arm, only causing the brunette to groan and glare. Roxy tried her hardest to throw daggers at the red head, with only her mind. She failed.

"I have to stay her!" Roxy moaned. "I'm not ready to be more embarrassed then I have ever been in my entire life!" Pulling the covers over her head, she wondered how long it would take for her to suffocate and pass out. High hopes.

"What in merlin's underpants are you on about?" Mary questioned, receiving a disgusted look from Lily, as she and Dorcas stared at the cowering brunette with amusement.

"Well.." Roxy started slowly, finally sitting up in her bed. "I may have.. I mean kind of.. Only a little bit." She lifted her hand up to Lily, her thumb and finger an inch apart, indicating what she meant. "Levitated Sirius Black and dropped him on the floor." Her friends stared at her, eyes wide with shock. Roxy tried to ignored the laughter from Marlene's bed, clearly amused that she had found herself on the boys bad side.

"What would of provoked you to do such a thing?" Lily asked in disbelief. Anger ready to be unleashed at her best friend.

"He was sleeping in the common room on the couch - the really comfy one!" She defended. "It was only a few feet." The red heads jaw dropped, eyes ablaze.

"You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me." Lily breathed, trying to calm herself.

"Roxanne, how could you do such a thing?" Dorcas asked, her round blue eyes filled with innocence. Roxy felt like she had just kicked a puppy. Hating the power her sweet friend held over her, she looked away.

"It's not that bad." Mary shrugged, inspecting her nails. "You're a Prefect, if he does anything you could give him a month of detentions."

Roxy lifted her head, her mood lifting slightly.

"Are you kidding me?" Marlene butted in, climbing out of her bed. She smirked at Roxy. "The Marauders love detention!" Tearing off her blankets, Roxy stood glaring at the annoying blonde.

"Well, I'm not coward! If Black wants to try something, then let him. I'm quicker with a wand then any of those bloody idiots." Roxy smirked at Marlene. Grabbing her toward, she ignored Lily's mutter about cussing, and headed into the washroom to shower.

After a quick shower, Roxy dried her hair magically before pulling the long, dark locks into a loose plait that hung down the center of her back. Dressing in her clean uniform, she grabbed her book bag and hurried out of the dormitory, followed closely behind by Lily, Mary, Dorcas and, to her dismay, Marlene.

In all honesty, Roxy felt apprehensive and slightly frightened at the thought of being pranked by the Marauders. They wouldn't dare to cause her physical harm. But after witnessing what they were capable of, how could she not. She refused to let them, or Marlene, see that though, and instead she kept her head held high as she walked into the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Maybe I should stick close to you.." Roxy muttered, suddenly glued to Lily's side as her eyes fell upon the four boys. Lily rose her brow in confusion. "What? James would never dare prank you!" Green eyes narrowed, before the redhead hurried ahead. Sirius and his friends sat at the Gryffindor table, plates already filled high with food they happened to be shoveling down their throats like wild animals.

Roxy grimaced, not only in disgust at their eating habits but also at the fact that Lily stopped in front of the boys before taking the seat directly next to Remus Lupin, in Roxy's opinion the only tolerable Marauder. She was being punished, she realized as Lily wore a look of amusement and satisfaction. 'Evil', Roxy mouthed at her best friend. As the other three girls took a seat, Roxy realized they had conveniently left the spot next to Sirius open.

"King."

"Jester." She smirked, taking her seat with more confidence then she felt. His gray eyes glared her way before he turned to look across the table at Marlene, who was smiling flirtatiously. Roxy rolled her eyes.

"McKinnon! Hogsmead this weekend, you and me?" With a girlish giggle, that Roxy swore caused her eye to twitch, Marlene accepted. Spoonful's of eggs and ham on her plate, Roxy dug in, ignoring Marlene's looks of disgust as she picked at the food in front of her.

"What?" Roxy hissed, swallowing a mouthful.

"Awfully fattening that is." Marlene said, wrinkling her nose. Roxy snorted.

"Well, if I had your figure I'd probably be worried." Roxy threw back, smirking as the boys around them broke out into fits of laughter. Mary shook her head, a slight smile on her lips, while Lily kicked her friend under the table. 'Her and her damn punishments' Roxy thought, massaging her ankle. Face flashing red, Marlene stood and hurried out of the Great hall.

"Why do you have to fight with her all the time?" Lily hissed.

"Hey! She started it." Roxy defended. Lily stared at her friend, exasperated. "Anyways, I don't care what she thinks. She's a complete, and utter, idiot." Lily looked as if she wanted to defend Marlene's case, but instead thought better of it, and with a sigh she returned to her breakfast.

"So, Roxanne. I hear you beat up Sirius last night." James smirked. Remus and Peter chuckled as Sirius, clearly not finding any amusement in the matter, glared at his friends. Cheeks flushing a deep red, Roxy grinned.

"Sorry, I was in an awful mood." She attempted an apology, though the smirk still glued to her face. Lily smiled, Roxy guessed the apology was enough to appease the red head.

"Right, PMS I'm guessing?" The group went quiet suddenly, though Roxy could hear Lily muttering under her breath as she shook her head.

"Excuse me?" Roxy asked, turning towards the now pale boy, as he heard the edge in her voice.

"Listen - " He held his hands up defensively. "I didn't mean - "

"Right.." Roxy said slowly, grinning mischievously.

Slowly, without detection, she pulled her wand from the pocket of her sweater before pointing it at Sirius underneath the table. Gray eyes gone wide as he watched her lips move silently. Within seconds theirs a yelp from behind Sirius as James skin starts to turn a rather unflattering pink, his cheeks and midsection swelling as his nose transfigured into a snout and a swirly tail appeared on his back side.

Roxy's mouth dropped open in shock as James glared at her. Laughter erupted suddenly across from her. Turning around, everyone stared at Lily in shock and disbelief as she clutches her sides. Her fits of laughter becoming contagious, soon all their friends, for the exception of James, were rolling around in fits of laughter. The scene clearly caused a commotion in the Great hall, as students began to turn around with curiosity their eyes fell upon the hysterical, and furious, sight of James Potter transfigured into a pig. Suddenly the entire hall had broken out into hysterical laughter.

James' face glowed with embarrassment. Jumping from the table, he ran out of the Great hall, the Marauders close behind. Roxy stopped laughing, her eyes trailing them until they were out of sight. Guilt bubbled in the pit of her stomach, she had never meant to hurt or embarrass James. He had always been exceptionally kind to her, though she suspected it was to get on Lily's good side, he was intensely infatuated with her best friend. The guilt slipped away as fear buried itself within her. She had just embarrassed James in front of Lily, which must have broken his heard and injured his ego. Now she had hexed half of the Marauders, the more lethal half in face, which meant certain death.

The day passed by quickly, without any incident, which only seemed to frighten Roxy even more. She found herself becoming rather paranoid as the day wore on uneventfully. What could they possibly be planning? There was no mistaking that the Marauders, or at the very least James and Sirius, would be planning something. Most likely emotionally scarring and embarrassing. During their morning classes and lunch, Roxy could feel the boys eyes burning into her face, large grins upon their lips. Leaving lunch, food untouched, she found herself hurrying towards the Potions classroom. Hands shaking, she buried them into her lap as she took a seat.

Why did she have to act so idiotically sometimes? Not only did she hex two students, but those students happened to be Marauders. Most of Hogwarts population were either in love with them or were completely terrified of them.

The classroom was empty, for the exception of herself and Professor Slughorn, who sat at his desk immersed in a box of frosted pineapple, and Severus Snape who had his large nose stuck in a thick, stained book. She ignored the glare her fellow student sent her as she stared at him. Not in the mood for his Slytherin personality, that is to say sulky and angry, she looked away trying to mentally prepare herself for the class. Grabbing her leather book bag, she pulled out her cauldron and textbook.

Finally, after what felt like a decade, students began arriving. As she watched them take their seats, pulling out their own supplies, she spotted a smirking Marlene. Roxy furrowed brow as her roommate took a seat at the table behind her, and to her shock, quickly joined by Sirius Black, a matching smirk playing on his face. Turning away from the pair, who seemed to only have eyes for her, she wondered if Marlene possibly had a hand in the prank the Marauders were certain to pull on her. She had caused her to run out of the Great hall during breakfast, just as she had done to the Marauders after she'd accidentally hexed James and embarrassed him in front of the love of his life and the entire castle.

"I'm dead." She mumbled. Sighing gratefully as Lily walked into the room. Roxy waved the redhead over, knowing no one would pull anything with the Head girl near. To her dismay, James shot out of his seat, wrapping his fingers around Lily's elbow he tugged her down into the chair next to him. She was about to protest, clearly not pleased at being man handled, when Slughorn stood and called the class to order.

"Everyone sit down!" He called, his wand waving dangerously in the air.

Roxy felt her breath quicken, there's no way this was her punishment. Sitting alone in potions was juvenile, preschool stuff. Hardly something she would classify as embarrassing. Her eyes travelled across the room causing her to realize something rather worrying. Peter Pettigrew had chosen a seat next to a clearly displeased Slytherin boy, while Remus Lupin sat uncomfortably next to a broad Slytherin girl. She looked down to the seat next to her own, which had conveniently been left empty. Someone was missing from class, she realized, they never had an empty seat.

Suddenly, realization dawned upon her as a take, blonde and clearly arrogant Lucius Malfoy walked in. He looked disheveled and incredibly pissed off. Jaw dropping, Roxy could hear the muffled giggles from the table behind her. She suddenly had the urge to turn around and stab both Marlene and Sirius.

Without so much as an apology for his tardiness, Malfoy took the last available seat next to a pale Roxy King. Lily turned around, looking apologetic before turning around and concentrating on the lesson.

"King." Malfoy greeted.

"Princess." She retorted, shock over came the blonde before he glared at her.

"Today we will be brewing a potion that, should you drink it, makes you confused and befuddled. You will find the ingredients on page 154. The students who successfully brew this potion by the end of the period will not have to complete the two and a half foot essay on the effects and dangers if prepared wrong. You may begin!" Roxy jumped up quickly, as the rest of the students took their time to skim through their books and set up their cauldrons. Retrieving her ingredients, she retook the seat next to the detestable Slytherin.

Ignoring his glares, and the nerve wrecking grins from the pair behind her, she zoned out, forgetting about Malfoy, Sirius, Marlene and the possible embarrassing prank to be unleashed upon her, she concentrated on the assignment. Determined to perfect the potion, not in the mood to have to complete yet another essay.

With Roxy's full attention on her work, her focus was suddenly disturbed as Malfoy jumped up with a girly shriek. His potion toppled over, he jumped out of the way in the knack of time, leaving Roxy wide open. She jumped back in surprise as thick gunk splattered across her lap, soaking through her skirt. She couldn't stop herself from crying out, tears automatically spilling from her eyes as the sensation of hot coals spread across her thighs.

"Roxy!" Lily hurried over, wand out, she cleared the mess off the table and her friends lap. But the liquid had already made contact with her skin, and the effect of the badly made potion took affect. Skin itchy, she watched at it started bubbling as if someone had lit a fire on her lap. Pain overcame her as she rubbed at her legs, her skin burning as red as Lily's hair.

"Miss Evans, take Miss King to the Hospital wing immediately. Everyone else return to your work." Roxy, shaky and disoriented, allowed Lily to steer her out of the classroom. Through her tears she spotted two faces sitting at the table behind her own, laughing.

All she could think was how cruel Sirius and Marlene had to be, laughing at her while she endured such extreme pain. Was it an accident? Or had the Marauders orchestrated such a disaster. "It was them! Sirius and Marlene." She accused.

"Roxy, you're delirious. Its one of the side effects from a badly made Befuddlement draught - " Lily assured her friend, half carrying and half dragging her towards the hospital wing. Roxy found herself sweating through her uniform, the pain become unbearable.

"No!" She argued. "They did it! I know they did!" Lily sighed, her arm tightening around her friends waist, she tried her best to calm the sobbing girl.

"We're almost there. Pomphrey will take away the pain."

Roxy nodded. Her head felt swollen, as her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. Every inch of her body hurt, every step she took was agonizing. She truly hope that Lily was right, that her fellow Gryffindors couldn't be so cruel. But she found herself filled with doubt.


	2. Chapter Two

 

Eyes closed tight, she tried to force them open but found it difficult, it was as if they had been glued shut. A tear slipped passed her lashes, down much too pale cheeks as she kept trying to pry them open. A headache was beginning to develop as she continued to will herself awake.  The pain in her head only adding to the agony that throbbed across her lower half.  Body drenched in sweat as terrifying images flashed behind closed lids, images she had forgotten long ago, memories that kept trying to resurface. Crying out, a cut in her lip reopening, the all too familiar metallic taste of blood on her tongue. Bottom lip clenched between her teeth, muffling her cries as she once again will her eyes to open. All the power in her mind and body screaming at her to wake.

Suddenly, Roxy shot up. Eyes wide, breath coming out in quick, short gasps. Though she found herself tucked into a bed, it wasn't her own. Stiff white linen, stark white curtains surrounding her. It was clear to Roxy where she found herself, the Hospital wing. The memory of the potions incident hit her like a brick wall. Slamming into her mind, only succeeding in maximizing her head ache.  Going by the date on the Daily Prophet paper sitting on her bedside table it had been two days since she had walked into the Potions classroom. Two days since the boiling hot liquid had spilled onto her lap. 

Sirius Black, it was all his fault. The accusation wrecked havoc in her mind, she was positive he was to blame. Lifting her hands to her face, in an attempt to hide the sobs that shook her body violently, the full effect of her injuries hit her. As if a pain potion had sudden worn off. Nausea hit her moments after the extreme pain.  Lifting the sheets off of her, she gasped at the sight of her thighs.

Scarlet red with deep scratched running along the length of her thighs, as if she had been attacked by a wild animal. One look at her own fingernails showed that she was in fact that animal.  Sheets and hospital gown spotted with blood, made nausea rise in her chest, threatening to crawl up her throat and out of her mouth. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she slipped off the edge. Legs weak and shaky, Roxy collapsed bringing down a tray of potion filled bottles smashing to the floor.  Tears of pain and shock joined her moans.

Roxy was a mess. Every inch of her felt broken, she wasn't sure if she didn't have the will or simply couldn't find the tools to fix it. She tried her hardest to push back her memories, nightmares, to farthest regions of her mind.  The accident in class, the blood, injury and pain had brought it all back. Flying at her with such power she wanted to keel over in pain.

"Miss King!" Madame Pomfrey came to the young girls side within moments of her fall. Attempting to lift the girl off the floor without having her fall back onto the glass shards, she found her to be as heavy as a rock. "Boys!" The healer called behind her. "Please, help!" Within moments James Potter and Sirius Black were by her side, cut and dishevelled, they each grabbed one of Roxy's arms and lifted back onto the hospital bed.

The young woman kept eyes downcast, unwilling to look at the two boys.  They had laughed at her. She had been crying in agony and they had found it humorous. As she found herself sitting back on the bed once more, she wondered how much of a laugh they would get out from the sight of her. Broken, hurt and pathetic.  How cruel could they be to do such a thing?

'They aren't fit for Gryffindor.' she thought to herself, and only a moment later she heard her voice repeating this opinion. Madame Pomfrey had already hurried off to fetch a calming draught and she found herself along with 2/4 of the Marauders.

"Excuse me?" Sirius questioned. His face pale. Roxy wondered if he was disgusted by the sight of her, why wouldn't he, she most certainly was.  She looked gruesome and it was all his fault.

"You. Do. Not. Deserve. To. Be. In. Gryffindors." She whispered harshly. "You're cruel. Just like a Slytherin."

"Do you honestly think we did this to you?!"  He asked, his voice laced with shock and anger.  "You're delusional." 

"Delusional? Look at me, Black!" Sirius took a step back, shocked at the hatred in her voice. "I'm horrible, bleeding and in pain. Do you honestly find this amusing?"  Not giving him a moment to answer, she continued. "I saw you and Marlene! Laughing at me, like I was some sort of joke. I can't even walk!"

"Roxanne, we didn't do this to you. Neither of us." James said, his hands up in defense as he took a step towards her.  Roxy grabbed one of the last unbroken bottles from the bedside table and chucked it at the boys. Aiming it with all her might at Sirius' head but it fell to his feet, shattering.

"Get out!" She screamed, her throat raw.  Soon she was joined by Madame Pomfreys shouts.

"The both of you, get out! Go tend to Mr. Lupin or leave my Hospital wing. Now!" As the boys retreated to the opposite end of the wing Madame  Pomfrey turned towards her hysterical patient. "Miss King, please, calm yourself!"  Roxy fell back down onto the bed, face in her hands, she broke down into sobs.

Once she had been given a Calming Draught, Roxy found herself more relaxed.  The healer retired to her room for the night, and Roxy found herself alone once again.  Deep, shaky breaths passed torn lips as tears pooled passed her lashes. Pain that all she could think of, even after she had taken more potions that dulled the sensation. The memory was all to familiar.  Pomfrey had promised her that her injuries would be fully healed over night and if all went well she would be able released in the morning.   She would have scars that would only fade with time and potions. 

The sound of gasping that wasn't her own made her freeze, mid thought, as it got louder and louder as someone approached.  Though she wouldn't admit it, even to herself, Roxy felt fear.  Pictures, memories, flashes behind her eyes once again.  At the sight of one Remus Lupin, she allowed herself to sigh in relief.  A crutch under on arm, he wobbled towards the side of her bed, face scratched up and left hand wrapped in bandages, she noted. 

"Mind if I sit?" He asked her, nodding towards the chair. Roxy shrugged, watching as he dropped himself into the hard wooden seat, wincing slightly.  "How are you feeing?" Remus asked while lifting his injured leg onto the end of her bed.

"Painful... You?"

"Same."

"What happened?" Roxy found herself asking.

"Marauder prank."

"Same."

Remus' eye shot up suddenly. "Neither of us did this to you. If that's what you believe then you're greatly mistaken."  Roxy searched his face, examining his shocked expression.  It was almost as if he was perplexed at how she had come to such a conclusion.  Roxy knew Remus to be kind and smart, he was the sensitive part of the Marauders. But he was apart of the Marauders, could she really allow herself to trust him? Even a little bit?

"I saw them, Sirius and Marlene, laughing at me while I was in pain. While I was bleeding!"  Remus looked down at his hands.

"I'll admit, Sirius can be insensitive. At first, it seemed funny to him, as well as others, before we found out that you were truly hurt. But none of us would conflict pain on someone, not purposely." He added. "I'm sorry this happened to you, Roxy, but it was only an accident."

Roxy wanted to believe him, but she couldn't help but see the negativity in everything. Sighing, she decided to change the subject.

"How have lessons been? I am going to be so far behind!"

"Not to bad, actually. I'm sure Lily will help you catch up." Eyes cast down to her hands, dried blood clumped under her fingernails, she nodded.  Rolling her hands into fist, hiding the frightful sight, she finally looked up at the boy as he added, "I'll help you too if you'd like."

"That would be great, Remus." He shot her a small smile.

Both students sat in silence, allowing time to pass, before Roxy drifted off into a dreamless sleep. She awoke the next morning feeling thankful towards the boy. Her wounds were mostly healed and Remus Lupin gone.

Leaving the hospital wing, headed towards Gryffindor tower, it was breakfast but Roxy wasn't sure she was prepared to show her face in front of everyone. Especially Sirius and James, after she had freaked out on them.  Perhaps Lily and Remus had been right, maybe the boys were alright, maybe the Marauders didn't have it in them to be cruel.  Maybe it was an accident, or maybe it wasn't, she couldn't decypher how she truly felt. 

One thing she was certain about, she would be staying out of their way for quite some time.

That promise turned out to be quite hard to keep, she realized, as she walked into Gryffindor common room walking straight into, the one and only, Sirius Black. His hands shot out, catching her arms before she could fall to the ground.  Strong, warm hands lifting her to a standing position, he greeted her with a small nod and hurried out the portrait hole.

Breathing shakily, Roxy quickly made her way to the girls dormitory. A place of safety.  She wasn't surprised to find it empty, the girls were most likely in the Great hall enjoying the delicious elf prepared breakfast.  Roxy wondered if they were expecting her to meet them there.  If so, they'd be disappointed.  It was Saturday and there was no doubt in her mind that she'd be spending the day hiding away.

She jumped at the sudden sound of tapping on glass, a familiar pitch black owl waiting impatiently.  Hurrying over, shaken with shock at the fact that her family owl stood in front of her.  Suddenly a common brown owl joined the other. Quirking her brow, she untied the letters from both birds, the black owl flying off while the other sat patiently.  Looking down at the letter in her clutches, she was surprised to see one addressed to her and the left blank.

Opening the first, she read.

  
_'Dear Roxanne,_

  
_How have classes been? Keeping up your grades? I’ve noticed that you’ve been sending letters to the house, addressed to mother, I would like to ask you to stop this at once. Mother isn’t here and your letters contain private information, if they had gotten in the wrong hands Merlin knows what would have happened. This is a warning. No more letters home._

_I will see you over Christmas break._

_Love, your brother_

_Chase'_

Growling, Roxy crumbled the letter into a ball and chucked it angrily at the dustbin. She couldn't believe the nerve of her brother. Only showing concern towards their mother and he couldn't even ease her worries.  Nothing about her whereabouts or state, but instead he turned to questions about school, as if he cared.  He clearly didn't want a reply, the owl would of stayed if he did, so why bother asking.  'Complete idiot, he is.' she told herself.  Anger rippled through her at the thought of him. 

As she opened the second letter her anger was replaced with shock. In her hands what something she had not expected.  Rereading the letter, honey brown eyes narrowed. Mary's secret admirer had responded to her letter.

_'Dear Roommate,_   
_As the writer of the letter I would greatly appreciate more praise. I thought the poem was brilliant and sweet.  Doesn't every girl love the mystery behind a secret admirer?  Awfully romantic it is. You must never have been in love or you would appreciate the gesture more.'_

To Roxy's irritation the letter was signed with a happy face. She wrinkled her nose.  Without much thought she pulled out a clean piece of parchement from the desk, dipping her quill in the bottle of ink she began her reply.

_' 'As the writer of this letter', does that mean you're only the writer but not the sender?  Which would mean Mary's real secret admirer doesn't even have enough passion about his suppose love to write his own poem.  This is just false hope for my friend, or does your friend not have the intentions to pursue this infatuation? Coward.'_

Folding the letter, Roxy returned to the patient owl, tying it to its offered leg. As the owl flew off she thought fast, sticking her head out of the window she watched the path it took. Perhaps that would aid her in discovering who sent the letter. Unless it went to the owlery, or Great hall.  Wide eyed, she almost giggled at her own brilliance as she watched the owl swoop around the sky momentarily before flying back towards Gryffindor tower and into an open window in one of the boys dormitories.  She couldn't believe it, it had been a Gryffindor who had written Mary.  Going by the position of the window she guess he was either a sixth or seventh year.  A large grin upon her face, she shoved the letter into her beside table drawer.

Not long after she had sent the letter, she lay in her bed, the assignments she had missed during her stay in the Hospital wing spread around her.  She finding it difficult to concentrate as boredom over came her.  Letting the book in her hand fall lightly onto her bed, she stood.  Roxy went over to her trunk, pulling it open to examine its belongings. With a sigh, she pulled out her pyjamas, quickly getting dress she avoided looking at her thighs.

She wondered if she'd be able to wear jeans in the near future, or if the fabric would irritate her scars.   A chill going through her body she pulled on a sweater and grabbed her wand.  The floor length mirror on the opposite side of the room proved to her just how sick and exhausted she looked. Face pale, dark bags under her eyes, her shoulders sagging as if her tired body was dragging her to the floor.

Another pity filled sigh escaped her lips as she tore her gaze from her own reflection and hurried out of the dormitory.  She didn't want to care about her appearance, it wasn't as if she had someone to please.

The common room had filled since she arrived. Since it was the weekend most students had decided to return to the tower to finish up last minute homework, or play games with their friends to pass the time. Spotting an empty chair near the fireplace, Roxy made her way across the room trying with all her might to ignore the curious and concerned looks her fellow Gryffindors were sending her way.

Eyes focused on the flames before her she didn't noticed the boy approach her until he cleared his throat.  Lifting her eyes to his own, similar brown ones, she allowed herself to smile at the sight of Remus Lupin.

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked, receiving an shrug before she replied.

"I feel like rubbish... I look like utter rubbish." Roxy could see amusement passed across his face, she wondered if he thought she was kidding.

"Well, I hope this makes you feel slightly better." He turned to the side and gestured to someone behind her. "The guys would like to have a word with you."  As he moved, Sirius and James came into full view. A shaky sigh left her body.

"Roxanne, please hear us out!" James pleaded.  "We figured if you heard the truth then you would be more inclined to believe us, and hopefully trust us." Roxy wasn't sure if she could believe their words, they could simply lie to her.  But with one look at Remus, a kind smile on his face nodding for her to allow them to continue. Taking a deep breath, she nodded wordlessly, listening to their explanation of events.

"Well," Sirius started. "After the incident at breakfast" he nodded towards James, his head of messy black hair falling into his eyes. "when you hexed James we decided to get at you. We wanted to do it right away, so we planned on making you drink a love potion - "

" We always have a batch whipped up just in case." James grinned.

"-  during breakfast so that you'd fall in love with the first person you saw when the potion came in effect.  But you were so paranoid we didn't get a chance, so we slipped it into Malfoys instead.  Then we made sure he'd be late by tearing his book bag - "

"I think he suspected something was going on, it was a new bag after all." The spectacled boy spoke up once again.

"It gave us enough time to make sure that the seat next to you was the only available one. The potion was about to come into effect when Malfoy knocked his cauldron on you."

"Stupid git." Roxy's eyes turned back to James. "But, as things turned out, we got him back. The love potion started to work right after the commotion stopped. It was quite hilarious seeing Malfoy declare his undying love for Professor Snape." He chuckled. With the thought of Malfoy doing such an embarrassing act, the corner of her mouth lifted as she smiled.

"She's smiling!" Sirius cheered, high fiving James. "So, do you believe us?"

Against everything she had promised herself previously, she nodded.

"And we would also like to call a truce."  James offered his hand, his usual smirk playing on his lips.

"Truce." Roxy nodded, accepting the hand shake.

Suddenly Lily walked through the portrait hole accompanied by Dorcas and Mary, both taking a seat on the empty sofa while Lily joined the group of boys who stood by her best friend.

"Potter, would you stop harassing my friend!" Emerald eyes narrowed.

"Lily, everything fine. They were just apologizing." Roxy tried to reassure her.

"Lily love, you are looking quite exquisite this morning." Ruffling his hair, he sent her his best smile.  Roxy grinned, along with the rest of the gang.

"You disgust me." Lily shot back, her voice low and menacing, before spinning around and hurrying up towards the girls dormitory.  Leaving James behind her, watching her leave longingly.

Later that night, eight Gryffindors sat in front of the fire, enjoying its warmth as the approaching winter chill set in around the castle.  Remus turned towards Roxy, remembering his earlier promise.

"I had completely forgotten, didn't I promise to help you with your assignments?"  The brunette nodded, a small smile on her lips.   Not entirely in the mood to work on her essays, she knew she needed the help and didn't want to pass up on the boys offer.  Accepting his help, she hurried up to her dormitory to fetch her book bag.

On her return she found her spot had been stolen by none other then Marlene McKinnon.  The urge to smack the dirty blond bubbled in her gut, on noticing this familiar look, Lily stood up and guided her friend to the opposite side of the common room with the suggestion that they work on their classes somewhere quiet. Remus followed behind the girls, clearly confused.

"Thanks, I guess." Roxy mumbled, pulling out the work her friends had collected from all the classes she had missed. "I was ready to curse her hair to fall off." Lily chuckled all the while sending her friend a warning look.  Remus watching, slightly worried.  "She does it on purpose, and you fully well know it."  Roxy added to no one in particular.  The statement emitted a sigh from the red head. Decided against lecturing her best friend, once again, about the important of tolerance and friendship, she opened her school book and began working.

It was getting late, Lily had retired to bed long ago after finishing her charms essay along with Dorcas, Mary and Marlene.  Sirius and James were playing their fifth game of Wizards chess, Peter watching their every move intently, while Roxy and Remus worked on her Transfigurations.  Finishing off her last sentence, she dropped her quill and groan, shooting Remus a smile filled with appreciation.

"Thank you, Remus. Honestly. But I think I've had enough work for tonight.. Or a lift time." Roxy grinned, packing her things neatly into her book bag. "You're really good with words, I think McGonagall may suspect I had help."  The pair chuckled.

"Moony, come play winner!" James called, his focus on beating Sirius.

"What's with that, Moony?"  Roxy questioned, over the years she had heard the boys odd choice of nicknames for each other but she had never learnt the story behind them.  "Actually, I don't think I want to know." She giggled as Remus shook his head, a small smile on his face as if the secret amused him.

"It's ridiculous, really."

"A story for another time, maybe. I think I should head to bed, the last couple days have drained me. " Bidding Remus goodnight with a half-hearted wave, Roxy climbed the stairs to her dorm and the comfort of her bed.

Reaching her dormitory, Roxy dropped her book bag on the floor before falling into her bed, already half asleep.  Laying in the dark, images of her summer flashed in her mind. Vacationing in Italy with Chase and her mother, though it was less of a holiday and more of a hide out.  They were always hiding, running. Roxy wondered if that's what her mother was doing, was that why she couldn't find her. Why wouldn't Chase share any information, perhaps he himself couldn't find their mother.  Was she missing? Could she be hurt?

Trying to push the negative thoughts from her mind, she tried thinking of the days events instead.  After a horrible week she was happy to have a lazy, yet normal day.  A small smile on her face, she fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter Three

 

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Seconds, minutes, hours ticked by. Time seemed to pass quickly and the next thing Roxy knew lunch was coming to an end and she found herself standing outside her dreaded Potions classroom. She paced back and fourth, wringing her hands nervously.

It was Monday and today would be her first Potions lesson since the incident. She reminded herself that the Marauders had apologized and explained the entire even to be an accident.  Which meant she had absolutely no reason to be scared or nervous.  But she couldn't stop the pin pricking nerves in the depth of her stomach, shaky hand or difficulty breathing.

Random, and ridiculous, thoughts popped into Roxy's head. Such as the possibility that the accident wasn't one at all. Perhaps it had been planned, a prank against her. Maybe by the Marauders, or maybe another student, perhaps a Slytherin.  Groaning, she bit her lip in an attempt to rid her urge to break down into tears.  Maybe she would skip class today, tomorrow may be different, or maybe the next day.

"Are you alright?" Spinning around, a look of pure fear, she came face to face with Sirius Black.  His face contorted into one of concern. Roxy was certain she saw slight amusement as well. Taking a deep, tembled breath, she shook her head.

"Definitely not! I don't think I'm in the mood... I think I'd rather pitch myself off the Astronomy tower, or maybe go swimming with the Giant squid... Anything but this." Roxy half shouted, her pacing quickening.  Sirius chuckled, shaking hurt dark curls away from his face. Closing the space between them, he grabbed ahold of her shoulder.

"Roxy!" He shook her slightly. "Calm down. Want to throw me across the room?" Sirius grinned as a smile appeared on her lips. "Everything will be fine. I promise! Sit with me, okay?"  Roxy nodded, taking a deep calming breath. Her shaking never ceasing.

Walking into class, closely behind Sirius, Roxy couldn't help but think that everything was indeed 'Not fine!'.  Silent and nervous, she wrung her hands.  As promised he sat down at an empty table, pulling out the chair next to his own he gestured for her to follow. 

On entering the classroom none of the students ever suspected that Slugorn would decided, for the first time in his teaching career, to force his students into a group project.  Roxy groaned, along with the rest of the Gryffindor/Slytherin classroom as their Professor started calling off the groups.  Slughorn obviously had absolutely no clue about his students and their deep hatred for one another. 

"King,  Black," Sirius beamed at the dark haired girl next to him, nudging her gently. "and Snape."  Both Gryffindors felt their smiles drop.  Roxy, of course, didn't have an issue with the Slytherin. In fact they had never had much interaction over the passed six years. But she knew how much the Marauders and Severus loathed each other and she suspected this entire process would be extremely difficult.  Not only did she have to deal with Sirius' immaturity during the rest of the semester as they worked on their potion, but she also had to deal with the two teenagers boy constantly at each others throats. 

"Oh merlin, we're going to fail." Roxy moaned, Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Evans, Potter, Avery"

"Goyle, Lestrange, McKinnon."

"Meadows, Malfoy, Lupin."

"McDonald, Lestrange, Pettigrew."

Slughorn went on until everyone was in a three person group, ignoring the unhappy looks his students were shooting his way as he continued his speech. Roxy listened patiently, ignoring Sirius' grumbles, as Slughorn explained the terms of their project. They were to create their own potion, then explain in an essay its purpose and why they had used their chosen ingredients.  Their potion and essays would need to be handed in during their last lesson before the Christmas holiday. 

The rest of the course was spent in the presence of their groups. Roxy found herself more then thankful as a bell signalled the end of their lesson. Hopping up, bag already packed, she hurried out of the classroom with her sanity barely intact. Throughout the entire hour she had found herself playing mother bird as she tried to keep the boys tempers at bay, which proved to be extremely difficult.

Roxy smiled, feeling rather proud of herself. Though she was prepare to let her own temper loose over a dozen times she found she hadn't thought of her accident once.

"What's with the creepy smile?" Sirius asked sharply, his temper still reaching its peak as she smiled brightly up at him.

"Well, thanks to you and Snape, I didn't think of the incident one!"  Sirius face suddenly softened, his eyes holding a slight affection as he offered her a small smile.

"Well, at least it was bareable - "

"Bareable?"  Roxy gasped. "You guys almost beheaded each other!"

Sirius playfully pushed her which only cause a chuckle to roll up her throat and passed her lips.  Roxy kept next to the playful Marauder as they walked towards their next course, her mind thinking over the last few days and how everything had changed.   After being released from the Hospital wing she had spent the next couple days in the common room with her friends and the Marauders, though she didn't consider them besties, they had definitely become closer.  Though the boys played mean and embarassing pranks on the unexpected, she found them to be funny and quite nice.  She found herself attracted to their personalities, like a magnet, and couldn't deny that she enjoyed their company.

As the sky darkened, night took over, Roxy sat in the common room having just finished her school work. The fire place before her crackling as the flames danced.  Large honey brown orbs lost themselves in the orange flickers, deep in thought over her family.  The more she thought over the situation, the more she found herslef confused.  What would compel her brother to act in such an odd fashion? Then again Chase wasn't the most normal person she knew.  But how could he ignore her worry altogether and not seem at all concerned about their mother?  Did he know where she was? If so why wouldn't he tell her?  Roxy didn't think it was fair that he would keep her so far in the dark. She started to think back on his letter, he had told her that she needed to be careful what she wrote in her letters in case they were intercepted. Perhaps Chase was too afraid too put their mothers location in writing for that exact reason.

"Chocolate frog for your thoughts?"  Roxy looked away from the fire as the spot next to her on the couch sunk.    A chocolate frog hovered in her face, held loosely by a grinning Remus Lupin.  She watched the charmed candy as it struggled in his grip, putting up a rather good fight.

"Thank you." Roxy mumbled, grabbing the chocolate with a firm grip before Remus changed his mind or it hopped away.  Nibbling on the delicious treat, letting it melt in her mouth as she returned her gaze into the fire. Her mind already retreating back inside itself.

"So?"  Remus pushed lightly bringing his fellow Gryffindor back from her train of thought.   Wide eyed, she shook her head slightly, as if to rid herself of the thoughts that penetrated her mind.

"Sorry ..  I just have a lot on my mind - Family stuff, you know.."  Remus nodded, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about but Roxy didn't think he had the slightest clue.

"Hogsmead weekend coming up."  He stated after a moment of comfortable silence.  Roxy smiled, acknowledging his statment.  "Well... Anyways... The rest of us were meeting in The Three Broomsticks, we were wondering if you and the other girls wanted to join us?"  Roxy's smile faltered slightly but she quickly placed it back on her lips before the boy could notice.

"Of cours, Remus.  I'm sure the girls would love to."  Swallowing the sudden build of emotion in her throat, she stood up. Book bag in hand, she turned towards her companion. " I think I'm going to head to bed." Remus nodded, his eyes lingering on her back as she retreated across the common room and up the girls staircase towards her dormitory.

Roxy thought about Remus' offer as she pulled off her school uniform, placing it in the hamper for the house elves to wash and press for them. Her mind didn't deter as she got dressed for the night, or even as she stood in the washroom brushing her hair.  The invitation had thrown her off, only slightly that is.  It wasn't as if the offer was unwelcome, in fact she was more then happy to join her new friends for some butterbeer at the pub.  What had kept the gears in her mind working on overdrive was the gnawing feeling that she had only been asked in an attempt to get her friends to come along. More specifically for James to spend some time with Lily. Roxy couldn't ignore the slight ache in her chest, no matter how hard she tried. She kept telling herself that it shouldn't matter, she didn't like any of them more then just friends. In fact she couldn't develop feelings for anyone. It was definitely on the 'Not Allowed' list.

Placing her brush back into her trunk, she pulled her dark locks into a quick braid. Deciding on passing the offer along to her friends and just not showing up herself.  There was a great possibility that they wouldn't even notice if she was there or not, and knowing the Marauders they would be having to much fun to care.

A peck at the window stole her attention away from thoughts of the Marauders and the upcoming Hogsmead trip.  Opening the window Roxy offered the barn owl a treat as she took the letter from its leg.  She ignored Marlene as she walked into the dormitory, a look of displeasure crossing her face at the sight of her roommate. Granting the blonde no more then an eye roll, she sat down on the edge of her bed and opened the letter.

_'Dear Roommate,_   
_Smart. Yes, I am only the writer.  I helped out a friend, not because he lacks passion but because he doesn't have the great talent of writing like I do.  Do you not believe in romance? I thought that was a trait all girls shared.  You must have never been in love. Trust me, there'll be a day where you fall in love and you will realize all these sappy things you are so against are quite romantic.'_

Roxy let out an unattractive snort. _'Not likely'_ , she thought to herself.

_'There are only five Seventh year girl in Gryffindor,  it won't be too difficult to discover who you are. Not many girls don't believe in romance._   
_Goodnight_   
_The Writer'_

Roxy raised a brow, confused as she re-read the end of the letter. Did he mean to say he knew who she was or that he was going to figure it out?  He was right, she realized.  It wouldn't take much to figure out who she was, all he had to do was ask one of her roommates who was the least romantic girl in their dorm.

A smile slipped across her lips. It wasn't as if she didn't have ammunition of her own.

_'Dear Writer,_   
_So do you know who I am? Or was that a bluff?_   
_There isn't much seventh year Gryffindor boys with a knack for writing and who believe in romance. You would be quite easy to figure out as well.  Oddly enough I don't think I want to figure out who you, just yet that is.  The fact that we're both anonymous gives me the opportunity to say anything I want without you judging the person everyone believes me to be.  Am I foolish to go this far out of my way to find someone to talk to?_   
_Yours truly_   
_The Roommate.'_

Hardly realizing, Roxy smiled brightly down at the parchement as she folded it before attaching it to the barn owls leg.  Her eyes scanning the sky as he flew off seconds later.  Turning around she was slightly surprised to see the rest of her roommates enter, she hadn't heard the usual squeak of rusty hinges as the door opened.

"Who was that for?" Mary asked,  preparing herself for a shower.

"My mom." Roxy lied.  The moment after she sent her first letter to the supposed writer of Mary's love letter she had decided against telling her friends. It was something they would of definitely frowned upon.  Bidding her friends goodnight, she climbed under her scarlet covers before closing her bed curtains around her.

  
Two days later Roxy found herself scribbling another letter addressed to 'The Writer'.  It happened to be the first she had sent that wasn't a response to one of his letters. But she didn't realize this fact as her grip on the quill tightened, ink splattering across the page and holes punctured into the parchement as she dotted her 'i' with too much force.  Visibly angered, she took her emotions out on her letter to the mysterious Gryffindor boy, letting all her feeling flow.

'Boys are complete idiots!' Roxy began.

It had all started after their Potions lesson during their study period where Roxy would be meeting Sirius and Severus to work on their potions project. Roxy didn't expect their group project to pass easily, but since it counted as half of their grad she had hoped the boys would attempt to put aside their hatred for each other in hopes to complete their work.  Obviously she had been naive in thinking they would even attempt to be civil.   What was Slughorn thinking when he partnered her up with Hogwarts two worst enemies.

Walking into the library she found Severus Snape deep in the back, sitting at a table littered with book about Potion and Herbology.  Roxy wasn't sure if he was enjoying some 'light' ready, as Lily would put it, or if he had taken a head start on their Project.  Truthful, she didn't care enough to ask.  Taking a seat across from him, Roxy wasn't bothered by the fact that he didn't look up to greet her, but instead grabbed a pile of his books and dug in.

'Magical Drafts and Potions', 'Most potente Potions', 'Advanced Potion-Making'. Roxy raised a brow, quite certain that at least one of those books came from the restricted section.  She hadn't bothers to open the books, instead spend her time reading the names of the authors and wondering how their parents could possibly think 'Arsenius' or 'Libatiar' were good names, when Sirius arrived suddenly. Taking the seat next to her, he glared daggers at the Slytherin boy across from them, Severus sending them back. 

Trying to break the awkward silence, Roxy took a deep breath and started talking.

"Right.. Anyone have an idea for a potion?"  Brown eyes looked back and forth between both boys.  Finally, after the fourth or fifth time, Severus opened his mouth to speak.

"Yes, actually." He started.  His voice deep and quiet.   Sirius snorted, arms crossed defensively.  Later on Roxy would pin point that moment as the minute hell broke loose.  Severus' head snapped towards the Marauders direction, his eyes darkening. Sirius' narrowed his eyes, leaning forwards in a threatening manner.

"Sirius, please .." Roxy's pleas were ignored.

"What Black? Jealous that I've actually have a brain, unlike your blood traitor self?"

Roxy swore she hear Sirius growl, but seconds later his angry demeanor switched and his scrowl was turned into a smirk.

"Say what you want Snivelous, we both know you're jealous of my brains, looks and popularity.  It's clear you wish you were just like us Gryffindors, proud, strong, charming and intelligent.  But instead you're just a slimy, disgusting Slytherin.  Go crawl back into your hole. " Roxy wide eyed gaze shifted between the two boys, shocked and unsure how to go about intervening their spat. 

Suddenly Severus jumped up, one hand on the table as he leaned forward and the other holding his wand. Sirius immediately followed suit. Before Roxy could blink both boys were on their feet with wands at each others throats.  All she could think was how they had hardly even touched the subject of Potions before their pride or ego's got in the way.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" Roxy's curses went unheard as the boys prepared to hex each other. 'In the middle of the library, really?' she couldn't help but think of their stupidity.  A low growl rumbling in her throat she joined the boys on her feet with her own wand raised in their direction. Still gone unnoticed by the pair.  Silently she muttered the body binding spell and watched in satisfaction as their body's suddenly went rigid, their arms glueing to their sides before they fell over like planks of wood.

"That is it!" The brunette shouted, her hair whipping around her as she spun around looking down at their frozen faces. The eyes that stared back at her were filled with shock, anger and slight fear.  It was never a good thing when Roxy lost her temper.  "You guys will get along and work on this project with me OR I will super glue your hands together. Understood?" With a wave of her wand her book bag was packed, a couple of Severus' books joined her own so she could continue working on their project on her own. Slipping the strap over her shoulder she swiftly made her way out of the library without so much as a backward glance to the two boys, still frozen on the ground. 

Roxy grinned as she walked down the corridor, a headache pounded between her ears at the scene that had just occured but she felt extremely happy with the predictament Sirius and Severus found themselves in.  Tucked away in the very back of the library until somebody stumbled upon them, which wouldn't be for quite some time. Hopefully they would learn their lesson.  Roxy had made a mental note to check the library before dinner.

  
Roxy finished up her letter with a _'Farewell, The Roommate._ ' before tying it to Lily's owl, Calliope. She watched the pretty bird fly off towards the other side of the tower. The irritation and anger she felt towards the boy had slipped away as she had put quill to parchement and allowed her feelings to pour out, though she made sure not to reveal to much about the situation that had put her in such a foul mood. She didn't want this mysterious boy to figure out who she was before she discovered their identity first.  Also by leaving out her partners name, the situation she had been in and where they could be found, she  was certain no one would go looking for them.  Instead she had rambled on for two feet about the deep seeded hatred she felt towards all things boy.

Feeling much better, she left her dormitory in search for some company in the common room before dinner.  But she was suddenly stopped at the bottom of the girls stair case by none other then Sirius Black. His grey eyes burning holes into her face with his fierce glare, neck tense and fists curled.

"We were there for an hour!"  Roxy covered her mouth with her hand as she sniggered. " A whole hour laying neck to greasy, smelly Snivelus when two fourth year girls came upon us!" He said, teeth clenched.

"Well did you learn anything?"  His glare deepened, her grin only grew wider. She swore she could see smoke escaping his ears. "No? Fine! I'll try a different tactic, you and Severus will work seperately. I will divide my time between the two of you, and we WILL finish this project as fast as possible. I will accept nothing but an Outstanding, got it?"  Without waiting for his answer, which she was positive would contain a few curse words, she pushed passed him and took a seat on the couch in front of the fire place. Her favourite couch. The same couch she had thrown Sirius from not to long ago, she remembered.  Enjoying the warnth the fire brought her, she ignored Sirius' stomps as he hurried up the boys staircase towards his dormitory.  Roxy could help chuckling at his childish behaviour.

"What do you find so amusing?" Lily asked, her sudden appearance cause Roxy to squeak in suprise.

"Well.." She started slowly, unsure how Lily would react. "I may have body-binded Sirius and Severus in the library.... and left them there for two fourth year girls to find them." A large innocent smile spread across her face.  Emerald eyes narrowed.

"Did you not learn a single thing from the last time you hexed a marauder?"  Roxy rolled her eyes, though her cheeks flushed. Lily had the ability to scold them like a mother, which always made Roxy feel guilty and stupid.

"They deserved it!" She argued. "We couldn't even begin to work on our projects before they whipped their wands out and were at each others throats.  It doesn't matter, I've come up with a plan to deal with their utter stupidity.  I'll work with each of them seperately. "Lily snorted. "Anything to finish this project.  What is possibly so amusing about my misery?"

"You're already looking forward to the end pf thos project and you haven't even started."  Eyes narrowed, Roxy quickly stole one of the couch cushions and started beating her best friend with it.

"ROXY!" The red head shrieked. Her friend laughed evily as she continued.

Later that night Lily was half asleep on the same couch, drool threatening to slip passed the corner of her mouth, when Roxy suggested she head to bed. The red head rolled her head around, which her friend took as a nod, before she picked up her heavy book bag and headed up the stairs. Roxy hoped she didn't accidentally end up in one of the younger years dorms, which would completely freak them out.  Chuckling at the image in her head, she sat back into the comfortable cushions. Eyes closed, she basked in the warmth of the fire.

"Who's there?" She jumped up at the sound of thumps behind her.  Realizing she had spun around, wand at the ready, Roxy realized she was in the safety of Hogwarts and if someone had seen her doing such a thing they would question her sanity. 'If only they knew', she thought. 

There was an audible 'shushing', followed by a 'shit', which made her quirk her brow. Lips lifting with amusement, she dropped her arm.  At the sound of a sudden 'bang' three boys tumbled across the common room, appearing out of thin air.  Roxy looked taken back for a moment, as she examined the scene before her.  In a pile on the floor was Sirius, Remus and James, half of the latters body missing.  Understanding came over her at the sight of the silky fabric. Walking over she lifted the cloak in her hands, rubbing the material in her hands.

"It's an invisibility cloak."

"I knew you were smart." Sirius shot cheekily, standing he yanked the material from her hands.

"Where did you guys find it?"  Roxy found herself in awe, barely bothered by Sirius' mood.

"It's mine." James said as he stood, bouncing with the energy of a six year old. "Family heirloom." 

"And you guys were sneaking off wh-"

"We were not sneaking!" Sirius protested, clearly still peeved about his stay in the library.

"Clearly, hence the invisibility cloak."  Huffing, he rolled his eyes. Remus simply chuckled as he came to stand next to the curious girl.

"Kitchen. Would you like to join us?"

"What?"  Sirius glared.

"Sure!" Roxy grinned, ignoring the grey eyes that were burning into the side of her head.  James and Remus also ignored their fellow Marauder as they flung the fluid material over the four of them.  As the tip toed out of the portrait hole, down the corridor and stairs, Sirius kept mumbling under his breath, stopping only when James elbowed him in the ribs.  Waving a piece of parchement under his nose, which Roxed noted was a map of Hogwarts.

Roxy kept quiet, not wanting to be caught and receive detention. That didn't stop her from irritating Sirius though, with a grin on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, she made sure to stick her elbow out so every so often the growling boy would smack his face off of her arm.  Chuckling, she followed behind Remus down the dark and cold corridors, Sirius behind her and James behind him.

Only a week ago Roxy had been terrified of these three boys, afraid that they were the ones that had purposely pulled a cruel prank on her. Now she found herself willingly joining them out passed curfew, enjoying their company and friendship.  She liked to believe they wouldn't bring any harm her way, and ignored all the 'what ifs' and 'perhaps' that plagued the back of her mind.

Remus brought them to stop outside a large portrait, the painting inside the frame was a large bowl of assorted fruit.  Roxy giggled along with the pear as James extended an arm and tickled it.  Swinging open, it welcomed them into the Kitchen where house elves scurried about busier then she'd imagine them being at such a late hour.  Besides the excitable creatures the Kitchens were empty.  As the portrait closed behind them James ripped off the cloak, alerting the house elves to their presence. 

Roxy's brain was overflowing with curiosity. How did James' family come to own such a fabulous cloak? How did they discover the whereabouts of the kitchen? What was that map? Did they find it or create it?  Why the heck were the house elves so busy at nearly midnight? Instead of voicing these questions out loud, she decided to instead simply enjoy her time with the boys and let them keep their secrets. For the time being at least.

James ordered cookied, ice cream, chocolate, cake and milk as they settled into a table in the corner of the kitchen. Befor the House elf could disappear to retrieve his lengthly order, Roxy made sure to add "and frozen yogurt, please!". With a smile and a nod, the shy elf bowed and hurried off.  The boys stared at their female friend oddly.  

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Come one, its delicious!" 

"So where is Peter?" Roxy asked after the House elf delivered their snacks.

"Tutoring session." James replied simply, digging his spoon into Roxy's yogurt. Ignoring her glare, he took a big bite and he eyes widdened. "Oh my."

"Told ya!" She sang, grinning, evil eye gone.  "With who?" The boys shrugged. Roxy wondered why Peter needed a tutor when he had someone like Remus, who was at the top of his classes. Even Sirius and James were excellent students.   She decided not to ask in case it was something personal.

"We were coming to find him. We figured he had gotten lost, when you decided to tag along." Sirius spat. James and Remus shooting him questioning glances.  Roxy rolled her eyes.   If he wanted to stay mad at her for all of time then she wouldn't bother herself with it, he was the one acting like a child.

Roxy finished her yogurt, sharing with both James and Remus, and stealing some of their cookies and chocolate.  Finally, once they were stuffed with sweets and the table in front of them bare,  they decided to return to Gryffindor tower. The entire trip back Roxy couldn't surpressed the large smile that spread across her face, glowing and she didn't care that the boys saw.  For the first time in a while  she found herself completely and positively happy, and had the Marauders to thank for it.

Still smiling, she bid them goodnight and escaped to her dormitory.  On her way up she suddenly felt much better about the approaching weekend and the Hogsmead trip that she may now attend.  Perhaps one of the reasons Remus asked her was because James wanted to see Lily, but now she got the feeling they also enjoyed her presence and had asked so that they could see her as well.  Laying in bed, she was hardly shocked to realized, in such a short amount of time, the marauders had become good friend. As her eyes fluttered shut and dreamed seeped into her mind, she hoped it was a mutual friendship.


	4. Chapter Four

Autumn arrived rapidly, hitting Hogwarts with full force and bringing with it a deep chill that sunk deep into your bones. The rest of the week passed by quickly, and Roxy was relieved to find she had completed all of her assignments before the weekend arrived. It was saturday morning, the grounds were littered with falling leaves of various colors, and the trees fluttered against the strong wind. Roxy stepped away from the window and examined her dormitory, she could hear Lily and Mary in the washroom, as they got ready for their Hogsmead trip. Marlene was kneeling at her trunk, several articles of clothing scattered around her as she searched for the best top to wear on her date with Sirius Black. Roxy could basically see the excitment radiating off the girl and rolled her eyes. Dorcas hadn't returned to their dormitory after breakfast, but instead hurried off to the library to finish her homework before heading to Hogsmead.

  
"Roxy, are you even dressed?" Mary called. Roxy hurried over to the washroom, tripping over Marlenes mess, receiving a glare from the girl on the floor. Ignoring her completely, she entered the washroom and was met by the sight of her two best friends doing their makeup and hair.

  
"Yes I am." She smiled, gesturing to her outfit. She woke a beige, cable knit sweater over top a floral button up and dark jean. Lily raised an eyebrow at her, which Roxy chose to ignore.

  
"You should wear tho leather boots you love so much." Mary suggested, always prepared to discuss fashion. Mary's short hair spiralled in loose curls that would of taken Roxy hours but most likely took her friend merely twenty minutes. Mary loved to dress up on Hogsmead visits, after a month of only wearing their uniforms it was refreshing wear something flattering.

  
Lily decided to speak up, "Are you dressing up for someone?" Roxy looked over at her redheaded friend, a look of confusion upon her face.

  
"No." She mumbled. Lily looked just as beautiful as Mary, her bright red hair was pulled into a french braid and her green eyes popped as she applied a light coat of orange eye shadow.

  
"Can I borrow some makeup?" she asked Mary, deciding to doll herself up also. Her friend nodded, now looking at her curiously.

  
"Is there someone?"

  
"Of course not!" She grumbled, quickly getting irritated over the chosen topic.

  
"What's that suppose to mean?" Her friends shot, Roxy simply wanted this subject to be dropped.

  
Roxy sighed as she turned away from her reflextion, shooting a glance towards the open bathroom door, wondering if Marlene was still searching for the perfect outfit. "It's not like anyone's really into me... Ever.." She said, her voice dropping as she avoided eye contact with the other two girls. "But whatever right, It isn't like I'm interested in anyone anyway." She shrugged, hoping that was the end of it as she turned back to the mirror and started applying makeup. She should of realized that such a topic wasn't so easily dropped by her friends.

  
"Your just being difficult - " Lily started, but was quickly cut off by her dark haired friend.

  
"And you aren't?" A look of utter confusion spread across Lily's face. "James." Roxy clarified as Lily rolled her eyes.

  
"James is an immature prat -"

  
"Actually, I've hung out with him a few times lately, and as it turns out, he's really sweet." Lily looked like she was building up a retort, but Roxy continued before the redhead could speak. "Maybe your the one being difficult. James was definitely an immature prat, and whatever else you want to call him, when we were younger. But the James Potter now has changed, maybe you should give him a chance." Before Lily could speak up Roxy hurried out of the bathroom. Marlene sat on her bed , adjusting her earings, a wide smile plastered across her face. Roxy glared, quickly grabbing her boot and hurried out of their dorm and down into the common room.

  
If there was one thing Roxy didn't like to talk about, it would to be her personal relationships. It wasn't that she thought squealing over boyfriends with her best friends was lame, though she wasn't to keen on squealing, it was the fact that she had nothing to squeal over. Throughtout the last six years they've spent at Hogwarts Roxy was probably the only one of her friends who had never experiences a serious relationship, or a relationship at all. She had gone on many dates but they had never really stuck around long enough to become a relationship.

  
She suddenly felt depressed. Crossing the common room, she took a seat in front of the fire place, staring deep into the black coals. Mary always seemed to attract guys, she was flirty, and cute, and always seemed to know exactly what to say. Lily probably would have been hit on by twice as many guys if James hadn't scared half of them off, he definitely had been immature. Even Dorcas, the shy and innocent one out of them all, had had a two year relationship with a Ravenclaw boy before they had made a clean split at the end of fifth year, and of course she was still friends with him. Then there was Marlene, who always seemed to be hanging off the arm of some guys, Roxy gudgingly admited to herself.

  
"Whoa! Who are you thinking of hexing now?" Sirius teased, as he and the other three Marauders approached. "Hopefully not me!"

  
Roxy shook her head, she hadn't realized she'd been glaring into the fire. "I'm just thinking." Sirius and Remus sat on the couch with her, while Peter and James occupied the plush arm chairs. "The girls should be down any minute." Roxy added, knowing fully well that she had only been invited to tag along because of her friends.

  
James leaned forwards in his chair, pointing his wand at the fire, Roxy watched as the spark shoot from the tip of his wand and within minutes the coals were engulfed in flames. She looked up, thanking him with a small smile. She hadn't realized just how cold she was until she felt the warmth of the fire touch her skin. Fall had most definitely arrived.

  
"Kiiingg!" Sirius sang, stealing her attention from the flames. Looking up at him, eyebrows raised, she guessed he had forgiven her for spelling for the second time, earlier that week. They had been in the library working on their Potions group project with their partner, Severus Snape. Who, as it turned out, hated the Marauders even more then they disliked him. Before they could even jump into their work, the boys had their wands at one anothers neck. It didn't take her long to get annoyed, and before either of them realized she had binded them. Then walked away, leaving them frozen nexts to each other for an hour, before a pair of young girls came upon them. What could she say, she had quite the temper and was quick with a wand.

  
"Yes, Black?" She teased.

  
"Does a fine gal, like yourself, have a date today?" Her face fell instantly, not going unnoticed by the surrounding boys. This was most definitely the last thing she wanted to be discussing. She swallowed, her mouth gone dry, and slowly shook her head, eyes averted.

  
"And why not?" James asked, his elbows rested upon his knees as he looked at her questioningly.

  
"Because nobody is good enough." Piped in Lily, as she took a seat on James arm rest. Roxy had been in such a frenzy about the boys interrogation that she hadn't even noticed her friend appear. Lily continued to smiled at her friend, all the while, James looked up at her in complete shock, hazel eyes wide behind his square rimmed glasses and his mouth slightly agap. The poor boy couldn't remember te last time that Lily Evans had willingly sat next to him.

  
Roxy, along with the other Marauders, couldn't help but notice James' shock. She wondered if what she had said in the washroom had made Lily reconsider how she felt about the boy. Even just a little. Moving her gaze up towards the redhead, she met emerald eyes looking down at her expectantly.

"It's not that." She protested, hoping Lily heard the finality in her tone.

  
"Then what is it?" Remus pipped up suddenly from the other end of the couch, after sitting quietly so long he startled her.

  
"It's..." She started, unsure of what she should say. Did she, herself, not know why she couldn't just settle for someone? "It's not like anyones interested in me. Those who have been in the past just... They were just... " She visibly struggled.

  
Mary arrived in the common room, followed closely behind by Marlene, and quickly made her way to her group of friends as she spotted them. Standing next to Lily she asked what had been happening.

  
"We were wondering why Roxy doesn't have a date." Sirius piped in.

  
"Ever." Marlene snorted, sitting down on Sirius' lap. Roxy grimaced at being so close to the girl. She didn't want to talk about her love life, especially not in front of Marlene. This was her personal life, didn't she have a say in keeping in personal.

  
"That's easy," Mary grinned. "No ones good enough." She finished teasingly, causing her dark haired friend to roll her eyes.

  
"Listen, it's not my fault the wrong guys are the only guys interested in me. I just don't attract .... any good guy." Roxy sighed, slipping on her boots. She wasn't anywhere near enjoying their conversation, people analyzing her love life wasn't her type of fun. Seeing Marlene smirking only made her temper rise, feeling even more embarassed. She tightened her grip on her wand, trying to keep herself from exploding. Taking a deep breath, she hurried towards the portrait hole.

  
"Hey!" Lily called, standing up, leaving James looking disappointed. "Where are you going?"

  
"Hogsmead. Why waste my day inside, even though we were all having such a great conversation." Roxy glared down at the floor.

  
" Alone?" The redhead called back. Roxy didn't have to look up to know that her friends face was filled with pity.

  
"Why not, seeing as that's how I'm spending the rest of my life. Apparently." And with that, she left the Gryffindor tower. Hoping with all her might no one would trail her, and nobody did.

 

 

Speeding through the halls, Roxie hurried to the first floor as fast as her legs would take her. Thankfully, she had long legs. Huffing, she was mad at herself for getting angry at her friends for simply being curious. But at the same time she was mad at them for not leaving well enough alone. Who did it hurt if she couldn't find herself a boyfriend? No one but herself, that is.

  
Arriving in the Entrance hall, she was shocked to come upon Dorcas who was looking up at a Ravenclaw boy, a sweet smile on her face. Roxy could see his bright blue eyes from across the hall, thanks to his dark complexion that made them pop. He was a good two feet taller then Dorcas, leaning towards her slightly, smiling at something the girl was saying. Dorcas suddenly caught Roxy staring, biding the boy farewell, she crossed the hall to meet her.

  
"The air around you is thick with pink fluff and hormones." Roxy teased, grinning as her friends cheeks tinged a light pink.

  
"That's Malcolm Everdean, from my Herbology class. We were just in the library working on our assignment together." Dorcas explain, shaking her head as her friend muttered 'Mm-hmm'.

  
"Did he ask you out?" Dorcas' cheeks grew a darker shade of red. The two girls walked out of the Entrance hall and onto the grounds, giving the caretaker their names before heading down the path towards the small town of Hogmead.

  
"He asked what I was doing this Hogsmead trip - "

  
"And?"

  
" And, I told him I was spending it with my friends." Typical Dorcas, even though she knew her friends wouldn't be mad if she decided to spend the day with a boy she would still feel guilty for breaking their plans. "But, I would be more free next time if he wanted to get together." Roxy smiled, even though her friend was much more shy then she, she was still much more approachable. And she was definitely approached more often.

  
'Where's the others?" Dorcas asked, suddenly aware that they were missing a few people. Roxy rolled her eyes.

  
"They were attempting to pry into my non-existent love life, so I left. They'll probably catch up with us soon." Dorcas nodded, her straight brown hair blowing into her face as she turned to look at her friend.

  
"Non-existent love life?" She questioned quietly, her eyebrows raised. Out of all her friends, Dorcas was the easiest to talk to about touchy subject, so Roxy didn't wait long before opening up.

  
" I've never had a real relationship. I've dated, but it almost seems as if I don't pursue anyone for very long. Never long enough for it to become anything real. " Roxy explained, hating her vulnerability. "Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.."

  
Unexpectedly Dorcas began to chuckle, receiving a look of shock from her friend. "I'm sorry, but the thought of you being alone forever is simply a joke. You a beautiful, smart and quick wanded Witch with lots to offer. One day a guy will catch your attention, and you'll be captivated. They'll be no way you wouldn't pursue it."

  
"Thanks" Roxy smiled, truly thankful. "Let's go down to The Three Broomsticks and save a table for the group... We may need two."

  
The Three Broomsticks brimmed with excitement. Students pilled in, relieve to have the opportunity to take a rest from their ever growing pile of assignments. Though this made it difficult, the girls were able to seize two table just as the rest of their group arrived.

  
"Excellent!" Sirius grinned. "Butterbeer anyone?"

  
"Soda, please!" Marlene batted her eye lashes flirtatiously. Roxy rolled her eyes, already annoyed with her roommater. Sirius nodded, and accompanied by the rest of the Marauders, he went off to get their drinks.

  
As Mary, Marlene and Dorcas were occupied talking about the new shops in Hogsmead, Lily leaned towards her best friend. "Listen, I'm sorry we all bombarbed you in the Common you - "

  
"It's fine." Roxy said, cutting her off. She understood that Lily was just being nice, but Roxy didn't want to go anywhere near the subject of her romantic life ever again. But of course that didn't stop the redhead in front of her.

  
"But I don't think that you're hopeless. Guys are definitely interested in you, they would be crazy not to." Roxy rolled her eyes, of course her best friend would say that. Lily continued, ignoring the other girl. "But sometimes I think you push them away on purpose. I don't know why, but sometimes it seems like you don't allow yourself to make that jump into trusting someone with your vulnerability. You hardly ever let me, or Mary and Dorcas, see you vulnerable. Half the time we never know how you truly feel. " There was a look of pity on Lily's face that Roxy couldn't handle, casting her eyes downward as the girl continued. "It would be a tragedy if you never got to experience being in love with someone.. Or having someone be in love with you." She added as an after thought.

  
Just then they were rejoined by the four boys carrying trays of drinks. Handing out the beverages, the boys took the available seats around the girls. Sirius sat down next to Marlene, who suddenly turned away from her roommates mid-conversation. 'Typical', Roxy thought to herself. Did she really want to become one of those girls who's life revolved around a guy, dropping everything around her the moment he show up. Of course not, but that wasn't necessarily how a relationship had to be, was it?

  
No one was surprised when James took the vacant seat next to Lily, including the redhead herself. What was surprising was the way she reacted, instead of rolling her eyes or huffing in irritation, she smiled and mumbled a small thanks as he handed her a butterbeer. Roxy couldn't help herself from smiling, her words in the bathroom that morning had definitely affected the other girl.

  
Buidling up his courage, James turned towards the redhead next to him. "Lily?"

  
"Yes James?" He looked at her dumbfounded, he couldn't remember that last time she had called him by his first name. He felt his heart quicken, realizing how good it felt to hear her say his name.

  
"Would you want to go to Honey dukes with me later? I heard they came out with a new flavoured bean." He ended quickly, feeling the beads of sweat on his brow. Lily stared at him for what felt like forever before muttering a simple 'sure'.

  
Roxy sighed. Did she want that? That nervous feeling in your stomach whenever you talked to them, making you sweat and feel giidy.Maybe she did, she thought, looked at the James. His face split with a wide smile as he beamed

  
"Are you okay?" Remus asked. She hadn't noticed him take the seat next to her until that very moment.

  
"Why wouldn't I be?" He looked back at her, completely lost for words.

  
" I don't know I guess." Mumbling he handed her one of the drinks infront of him.

  
"I didn't bring any money." Roxy explain, as she started to hand back the drink.

  
Remus shook his head, "It's on me."

  
"Oh! Thank you." Smiling, she took a mouthful of what turned out to be Butterbeer. "I'm sorry about blowing up in the common room. I was already annoyed with the topic, I guess i just lost my temper."

  
"Atleast you didn't hex anybody this time." He teased. Roxy nudged him playfully, causing him to almost choke on his drink.

  
"Trust me, I wanted to." The pair chuckled for moment, before Remus' smile dropped and he looked at her seriously.

  
"Do you really want to be alone forever?" Roxy's expression softened.

  
" I don't think I want to be - "

  
"Think?" She sighed, looking anywhere but at the boy next to her.

  
"I guess... Maybe - I keep people at a distance. I don't mean to, atleast I don't think so. I didn't even realize I did it until it was recently pointed out to me." She revealed, shooting a glance at Lily, who shockingly enough seemed to be having a civil conversation with James.

 

"I don't understand why someone with such a great personality as you would chose to turn the world away. "

 

Roxy stared at him in complete shock. She wasn't sure if Remus was being truthful, or was only trying to be kind. It seemed as if he was always being kind. Helping her with her assignments when she ended up in the hospital wing, letting her tag along to the kitchens and inviting her to Hogsmead. She began to wonder if he only hung around with her out of pity. She never got the chance to ask as the group chugged back their drinks and decided to explore the rest of Hogsmead. James bounced on the balls of his feet, seeming extra excited to should Lily the new flavour of Berttie Bott beans.

 


	5. Chapter Five

If only she hadn't gone to Hogsmead. She couldn't think of anything else as she left the Gryffindor tower, everyone still sleeping soundly in their beds. It was early, probably the earliest she had ever woken up during the six years she'd spent at Hogwarts. She knew it was the only thing she could do to avoid everyone, which seemed necessary after she had bailed while they hurried off to Honeydukes. She didn't care if they noticed or not, all she wanted to do was get away as fast as possible. After what Lily and Remus had said to her in The Three Broomsticks she didn't think she could stick around and be social, she wanted to go as far away as possible but knew the dormitories would have to suffice. She fell asleep in her bed before anyone came looking for her and woke up early, knowing if she had decided to sleep in, per usual on Sundays, Lily would have woken her demanding an explanation.

Her stomach rumbled with hunger,she hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before, which didn't seem like a big deal until that very moment. It was as if her feet couldn't move fast enough, or time had slowed down, all she wanted was to get to the Great hall before the rest of the school woke up. Before her friends found her. It wasn't like she was mad at them exactly, she just couldn't face them. Lily didn't understand why Roxy had trust issues, and if Roxy had it her way she never would. What Lily didn't understand was that she truly did trust her. Was that not enough?

Time and time again Roxy had watched people get their hearts broken. She knew that, though they had remained friends, Dorcas hurt after she broke up with her boyfriend at the end of fifth year, who wouldn't when they were your first. Mary had laid in her bed crying over numerous boys who had made her promises, told her beautiful things, only to turn their backs on her for someone else. And Lily, her best friend, had been hurt by the boy that claimed to love her, making it hard for her to even imagine herself with him.

Then there was her mother, who had suffered the ultimate betrayal. A long time ago, as a young girl, Roxy promised herself that the same thing would never happen to her. The only way to keep that promise was to keep everyone at a safe distance, was it not? She didn't think there was a middle ground. If you trusted someone, it means you give them the opportunity, the power, to betray, hurt and destroy you.

The Great hall was as empty as she hoped it would be, not even the Professors had decided it was an appropriate time to be awake and about. Having the entire Gryffindor table to choose from she sat at the end, closest to the door in case by chance someone woke up early and she needed to make a quick exit. Laying her book bag down on the table, she took a seat and suddenly, as if the House elves knew she was there, a plate full of food appeared in front of her, accompanied by some coffee and orange juice.

"Just what momma ordered." She grinned, digging in immediately. In all her life, she had never tasted food that even came close to how delicious Hogwarts food was. She was so hungry that after she'd cleaned off her plate another had appeared, without a thought she gobbled it down just as quick as the first. By the time she had finished her second plate students began piling into the Great hall, which was her cue to leave.

Thankfully, she left the hall without walking into any of her friends. Not even the Marauders, which made sense. Since when do they wake up early? She planned on heading to the Library later to study, but knowing Lily would search there after breakfast she needed to pass some time. Roxy decided to keep outdoors for the first hour, walking around the Quidditch pitch she wondered if she'd even go to the game tonight. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin was a big deal to most of them, she usually enjoyed joining the crowd, cheering in excitement for her house, but she wasn't sure if she was up to it. James was incredibly excited about the first game of the season, more so because they were up against their rivals. Was she close enough to the Marauders that her presence was important? No, she decided. Half the time she felt as if they only tolerated her out of pity. She didn't need pity.

"Hey, King!' Nearly jumping out of her skin, Roxy whirled around looking for the source of the voice who had startled her. She had been so deep in thought she didn't realize she had walked up into the Gryffindor stands, most likely out of habit, or notice the Quidditch players flying over head. All she could see were streaks of red and gold as the Gryffindor team sped around the pitch. How long had she been sitting there? Could the match be starting already? Once again lost in thought, she didn't notice the approaching broomstick or the grinning boy riding it, his arms outstretched. Everything happened too quickly, Roxy hardly had time to react.

She stood examining the entrance to the pitch, wondering if the match really was starting and if her friends would notice her amongst the rest of the Gryffindors or if she should try escaping before any of them had a chance. Suddenly, and quickly, she was grabbed around the waist by a pair of strong arm, holding onto her middle firmly as her feet lifted off the stands.

A high pitch scream escaped her throat, and panick settled in. Eyes closed tightly, she threw her arms out searching desperately for a solid source to hold onto. She was only slightly relieved when her arms wrapped around a solid form, her hands gripping soft fabric painfully tight.

"Well if this is all I needed to do to get you close to me." She immediately recognized his voice, her head pressing against his chest only moments ago had flew back in suprise and anger.

"Black!" With quick reflexes he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer.

"Do you have a death wish?! That's a 200 foot drop!" They flew fast and high, Roxy whimpered, making the mistake of looking down.

"Black! You idiot!'

"I'm the idiot!" He grinnned, which irritated her to no end, taking her mind off the far drop momentarily. "You almost dived off my broomstick." He chuckled, "That sounded dirty." Roxy growled, clearly annoyed. Who was he to grab her from the safety of the stands, scaring her half to death.

"You stupid prat, this is practically kidnapping! Let me off - " She said, swinging at him. He dodged her fist, the broom swerving causing another scream to erupt from her chest.

"Are you mad?! Honestly, we're hundreds of feet in the air. If you have a death wish, I beg you not to take me with you."

"You should of thought of that before!"

Sirius brought the broom to halt, still hovering higher then any of his team mates who seemed to not be paying them much attention. "Is that better?" He asked, loosening his grip on her slightly. Roxy swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding. "Your afraid of height, aren't you?" He only received a glare from the girl, casting her eyes downward she could feel her heartbeat elevate and the grippling fear return.

"Don't," Sirius said, bringing a hand to her chin he made her look forward once more. "Don't look down, you'll only make yourself panic."

"Why did you grab me in the first place, I'm sure theres a dozen other girls who would be happy to be here." Sirius smirked, she could almost feel his ego growing, as if it could possibly get any bigger.

"True," He said, received another glare from the dark haired girl. "But you were the only miserable friend, and that comes first." She snorted.

"We're not friends Sirius."

"Since when?" He asked, clearly suprised.

"Since when have we actually been friends? You guys only talked to me because you felt bad about the potions incident." She kept hey eyes on Sirius, watching his face turn from shock to annoyance.

"What is wrong with you?" He grumbled. "Lily's right, you just push everyone away. Why? Do you enjoy having people chase after you, begging for your friendship?"

"Of course not! Why are you guys talking about me anyway?"

"Did you expect us not to notice you left yesterday? And don't change the subject. There's people who enjoy having you as their friend, and being apart of your life - "

"Like you'd care if we were friends or not." She cut him off. Roxy was tired of this fight, she didn't want to fight with anyone. She didn't want to feel secluded from her friends, or push them away, but apart of her couldn't let go of the wall that separated her from everyone else.

"You don't let anyone close enough to grow attached to you. Why?" He said softly. He wasn't mad, or annoyed anymore, but instead confused.

"I... I've just had experience with trusting people who eventually hurt me." Confusion and curiosity pushed at Sirius but he didn't push her.

"Lily, Mary and Dorcas you can trust, you know that deep down. They love you. I couldn't say the same about Marlene, she didn't seem to please when I was talking to Lily and James about you yesterday, But the other girls, you shouldn't shut them out like this. And me and the Marauders, well.."

"What? You don't think I should trust you guys?" Roxy asked, a small smile at the corner of her mouth.

"I do, but I want you to make that decision on you own." Roxy was suddenly aware of Sirius' strong hand resting on her hips, making her feel uncomfortable. Attempting to brush his hands off he held on tighter.

"Sirius?" She said breathlessly. He leaned in closer, making her heart beat fiercly in her chest. His lips came incredibly close to her ear, hot breath against he neck made her shiver,

"We're still on the broom." He whispered, pulling back a grin plaster across his face. Roxy growled, but couldn't prevent a smile from springing to her lips.

"Well bring me down, I have to get to the library." Her heart still pounding rapidly in her chest.

"Hot date?" He teased.

"No, actually. Thanks to you I have to work on our Potions project with a certain Slytherin, alone." Sirius rolled his eyes, steering his broom towards the entrance of the pitch. Roxy yelped, her heart jumping into her throat as they sped off.

"Roxy... You can let go know." Sirius said, clearing his throat awkwardly. " I mean, I know I'm irresistable but you don't want to be late meeting Snivellus," Roxy rolled her eyes, springing away from Sirius she hurried off the broom.

"Sirius, lets never do that again. Okay?" Sirius didn't answer but chuckled instead. He sprung off the ground, shouting down at her before rejoining his team practice.

"I'd tell you to be careful, but your quicker with a wand then anyone else I know." Roxy smiled, watching the dark haired jokster fly off before turning on her heel and heading back towards the castle.

  
Entering the Library, Roxy was met with a bustling group of Students failing to keep quiet as they hurriedly finished their assignments, probably due the next day, before the Quidditch match was due to start. Madame Pince, the librarian, rushed passed her. Her thin and severe face twisted into one of irritation as she attempted to keep her Library under control.

Passing the busy tables, Roxy searched for the gloomy, dark haired Slytherin boy, who was oddly nowhere to be seen. There was very little she knew aobut Severus Snape, but the one thing she did know was that he was always early. She couldn't remember a single class where he hadn't arrived early. Before she could get any further into the library she heard her name being called somewhere amongst the bookshelves.

"Roxanne King!" A tall, furious redhead appeared between two isle. Her cheeks red and eyes shooting daggers as she came upon her friend.

Roxy sighed, even though she had had a great talk with Sirius she didn't want to talk about yesterday. "Hello Lily." She mumbled.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick! You just ran off yesterday and then leave before anyone wakes -"

"Lily!" Roxy half shouted, receiving a deathly look from the librarian. "Listen, please!" She said, much quieter. Lily sighed, still clearly angry. "I'm sorry for ditching yesterday and for sneaking off this morning. I just.... I needed to be alone. I was getting tired of everyone talking about my love life and telling me I have trust and commitement issues. " She sighed, wondering where she was going with this. "The truth is, I guess I do ... But I have my reasons. I've also watched everyone around me get their hearts broken, including you, why would i subject myself to that?"

Roxy watched the anger slip off her best friends face, replaced by one of defeat. "How many times had James hurt you? And all because he likes you so much. You've never given him a chance because of it. Back and forth you guy break each others hearts, and you don't even like him. Why should I put myself in the same position, or worst?"

"It's not that I don't like him..." Lily said quietly.. Before Roxy could react to her friends shocking word there was a disruptive cough next to them. Severus Snape stood back, avoiding eye contact with Lily, his voice filled with irritation as he addressed Roxy.

"Our project?" Roxy rolled her eyes.

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Obviously." He said, pronouncing the word slowly.

"We'll talk later, I promise. " Leaving Lily she followed Severus to the back of the library, where no one else could be found. They took a seat in a secluded corner, behind a shelf of Potions books.

"So... Is this where you kill me?" Severus' face was one of complete and utter annoyance, Roxy couldn't help but smile. "Why are we all the way back here? Don't want any of your Slytherin pals to see you with such an adorable Gryffindor?" Nudging him with her elbow.

" Honestly!" The boy stood up, went around the table and sat across from her. "I sit here so we won't be disturbed, and we're close to all the books we'll need."

"You sit here all the time don't you?" Severus grumbled, but didn't say another word as he began pulling books and notes out of his bag and placing them on the table in front of him and Roxy. As he started explaining his ideas for their potions project Roxy found herself examining him. His large, crooked nose that seemed to fit perfectly on his pale, oval face between two dark eyes. So dark, you couldn't even see the true colors in his eyes. It was as if he hid something something them, shading his secrets from the world.

"What?" Severus snapped, glaring at the girl as she stared at him. A perculiar look upon her face.

"Just trying to figure you out.." Roxy said, her eyes still trailing over his face. "You used to be friends with Lily, I'm remember she used to mention you. Then one day she just... stopped." Severus looked extremely uncomfortable, his eyes flickered away from hers and rested on the notes in front of him, pretending to read though she knew he wasn't.

"Potter." He spat, "And your friend Sirius.."

"It seems unlikely, that James and Sirius, of all people, would make Lily change her mind about a friend." She could see his chest moving under his sweater, his breathing quickening.

"Are we going to sit here chit chatting or can we get back to work." He snapped, his voice raising. Roxy grinned, clearly amused. But instead of pushing him, she nodded stealing the notes in front of him.

  
Roxy was sitting in the common room when the portrait hole suddenly burst open, Gryffindor students burst in, cheering and shouting. Everyone beaming with excitement.

Gryffindor Won.

She stood up, spotting Lily hurry in, Mary and Dorcas behind her, the lively crowd pushing them further into the room. Lily looked over, their eyes met and Roxy smiled, she knew she needed to talk to her friend. Smooth everything over. But before she could make her way to her friends she was swept off her feet by none other then Sirius Black, a shriek of laughter escaped her lips as he carried her across his should. The common room was a burst of activity, everyone celebrating the first win of the year.

 


	6. Chapter Six

A thick, scarlet comforter with a large golden lion stitched in the center separated them from the cold, wet autumn floor. Over-sized sweaters pulled over long sleeves and knit socks paired with thick boots kept them warm from the deep chill as the girls laid by the lake. Staring up at the blue sky, they watched the clouds take shape as a soft wind blew loose leaves from the nearby forest.

"If only the Professors would take more sick days." Mary sighed, smiling she closed her eyes. The girls next to her nodded quietly. At the beginning of their Charms NEWT class, just as everyone had taken their seats, Professor Flitwick had suddenly turned green and started throwing up. After being fetched by a couple students, the Deputy Headmistress had given them a free period and then hurried the small, sick man to the hospital wing. Taking the opportunity to relax, the girls had grabbed Roxy's comforter and headed outside.

" I'm almost positive that the Marauders had something to do with it." Mary nodded at Roxy's accusation.

"That's awful!" Dorcas exclaimed, wide eyed. "They couldn't have done something so horrible."

"Dorcas, your poor innocence - "

"LILY!" Dorcas cried, smacking the red heads arm. The other three girls giggled. The night the Gryffindors had won the first Qudditch match of the year the girls had gone up to their dormitories and Roxy had apologized for her odd behavior. The girls re-bonded over firewhiskey and cupcakes, they hadn't so felt close since their sixth year. They giggled outside on the grass as the giant squid splashed in the background, going unnoticed by the student near by.

"Why are we outside?!" Mary half shouted, always filled with dramatics.

"Why didn't we bring more blankets?" Dorcas giggled.

"Yeah! Lily, your the smart one you should of remembered the blankets." Roxy teased, received a playful glare from the red head next to her.

"I can't wait for Christmas!" Mary sighed before receiving a face full of leaves. "What?!" She cried.

"Don't say such blasphemy! It hasn't even been Halloween yet!" Roxy shook her head.

"What's your issue with Christmas? You always seem to dislike that time of year." Dorcas asked, her big brown orbs staring across at her dark haired friend.

Taking a deep breath, Roxy scrunched up her face in distaste. They were obviously right, every year when the Christmas holidays approached she would start to get snappy and grumpy. But she knew her friends wouldn't completely understand. Every time they returned home for the holidays they celebrated with their families, had traditions and enjoyed family dinner. Her family hardly talked to one another.

"I've never really celebrated it. Over the holidays we'll probably travel somewhere exotic, I'll spend most of my time alone and away from my family and we wont even have a Christmas tree. " Roxy explained. She had never been completely honest about her life outside of Hogwarts, and she didn't know if she ever could be but giving her friends this little piece of her life made her heart flutter.

"Travelling to exotic places sounds fun!" Mary said, trying to lift her friends mood. The other two girls nodded.

"Yes, it does. But after spending every Christmas holiday and summer break in another country.... It's just not fun anymore." Roxy ignored her friends looks of pity. Grabbing a fist full of leaves she tossed them in the air, allowing them to fall back onto her friends.

"ROXY!" Her friends giggled, as they in turn picked up handfuls of leaves and chucked them at each other. The fun ended with Mary whimpering dramatically, "My hair!" which only pout her friends into another fit of giggles.

"We should all get together during the Christmas holidays, that way Roxy can experience a little Christmas magic." Lily suggested, her emerald eyes twinkling brightly. Roxy felt her heart swell up, and with pink tinged cheeks she nodded.

"That sounds like a great idea!" She couldn't help but smile brightly at the three girls in front of her. Her best friends, all different yet all there for one another, and they were all there for her when she needed them. She knew she needed to remember that more often.

"What sounds like a great idea?" The girls turned around suddenly, startled by the deep voice. James Potter looked down at the girls, his usual boyish grin and excitement was gone and had been replaced with a calm exterior and small smile.

"We decided to get together during the holidays, since Roxy's family doesn't like to celebrate." Mary informed him, ignoring the looks she was getting from her friends.

"Oh," he said quietly, "that would be nice.. for you guys.. and Roxy, of course." he shuffled his feet and look down awkwardly, very unlike himself.

"Maybe we could all get together." James was shocked to hear the suggestions, especially out of the red heads lips. He had dreamed about those lips. He cleared his throat, nodding vigorously.

"Yes, definitely! That - great!" His neck turned red, growing towards his cheeks, as the girls giggled at his awkwardness.

"James," His eyes were as big as saucers. " Was there a reason you came down here?" Lily asked, looking amused.

"Ah, yes.. Well.. I wanted to ask - It's not a big deal, but... uhm. Well Flitwick suggested.. " He sighed, looking completely embarrassed. "I need a tutor in Charms... Professor Flitwick mention I should ask you.." He looked up hopefully at Lily.

"Well - "

"I understand if you can't... or don't want to."

"Its okay, Ill do it." Roxy could swear she saw sparks flying out of the boys ears, he stood there for a moment, looking utterly shocked and lost for words. Finally, a big smile spread across his face, splitting it in half from one ear to the other, before he bounded off, most likely afraid she'd change her mind.

"You've been rather nice to him lately.." Dorcas said quietly as she levitated the leaves around them into a neat pile.

"So?" Lily said, examining her fingernails as her cheeks tinged pink.

"Very unlike you.. at least towards him," Lily rolled her eyes, pointing her wand at Dorcas' neat pile. With a silent spell the leaves blew into the air and falling all over the girls once against.

The girls fun was put to rest with a dramatic drop of the temperature They all hurried inside, Roxy trailing behind with her comforter draped around her, an attempt at keeping her body warm. Opening the large, wooden doors that lead into the Entry hall, they were met by an excited Marlene who was exiting the Great hall. Spotting her roommates she bounded over, giddiness pouring off every inch of her body.

"Did you hear?" She asked, her long blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders. The girls looked at her in confusion, Roxy huffed, letting the blanket fall around her shoulders slightly. Marlene continues to grin, "The Marauders, they've decided to throw a Halloween party!"

"What?" Lily asked, a look of shock and anger sketched across her face.

"Lily, lighten up - " Mary started but was quickly cut off by the fuming red head.

"See, this is just like Ja - Potter! This is why I never gave him a chance!" She seethed.

"Lily, stop." Roxy sighed. Lily quickly turned towards her, her pale face gone red. "You're just using this against him. You don't like that they are doing this, then talk to him civilly. Don't hate him and deny any feeling you have for him because your scared."

"Roxy, that isn't... That's not - "

"Lily, she's right. If your upset, then go speak to him. Don't yell or fight, just talk to him. Even if you don't like him in that way.. " Dorcas gave her a small encouraging smile. Lily sighed, looking utterly defeated. They could see she still wanted to fight them, to deny everything. But instead, she took a deep breath and nodded. Turning away from everyone Lily slowly walked off in the direction of the Gryffindor tower, Dorcas and Mary followed a short distance behind.

"You look terrible." Roxy looked up at Marlene's words. The blond girl grinned, looking extremely pleased.

"This is my costume, I'm going as you." Watching the girls face fall, Roxy walked off after her friends. Not giving Marlene a chance to respond.

\---

The fat lady portrait hole swung open, giving Roxy entry to the Gryffindor common room. In the middle of the room stood Lily and James, face to face. Lily's face was beet red, the boy in front of her stood looking down at his feet, clearly distraught. Roxy could feel her heart breaking for the boy, she knew how he felt about her friend, everyone but Lily seemed to understand. Here she was, yelling at him for an idiotic party. Suddenly the rest of the Marauders bounded down the staircase that led to the boys dormitories. Sirius hurried over to the couple, clearly annoyed.

"Hey, Evans!" The dark haired heart throb shouted over her voice. "Relax. How about - for once - lay off my mate. He didn't even want to plan this - "

"Sirius, mate, it's fine." James said suddenly, his eyes were off the floor and looking directly into Lily's bright green orbs. "It's fine, Evans. We're throwing this party, come, don't come.. I don't even care." With one last look, he pushed passed Lily and Sirius, their faces frozen in shock as he hurried up to the boys dormitory.

Roxy couldn't believe it herself, James had never gotten angry at Lily before. Anytime she yelled, or threaten, or blamed him, he'd just brush it off with a boyish grin. He was hurt this time, more then anytime before, Roxy watched the same thought dawn on her friends face before she hurried up the opposite stairs, into the girls dormitory. Roxy went to follow her but was suddenly pulled back by a strong pair of hands.

"Hey-"

"Relax there, King!" Sirius' brown eyes bore into hers.

"Any reason you're handling me?" Shock registered on his face once again, before he quickly let go of her arms and took a couple steps back.

"What she's doing to him isn't right." He said suddenly, his voice quiet.

"What do you mean - "

"You know exactly what I mean Roxy! Finally she plays nice with him, gives him hope and then this. Jumps down his throat because of a ridiculous party." Sirius shook his head. His jaw tense, Roxy couldn't take her eyes off his jaw. "Roxy are you listening to me?" She took a deep, startled breath. Of course she was listening.

"Yes... Sirius" She sighed, looking anywhere but at him. What was she going to say? The truth? Tell him she suspected Lily liked James, maybe even loved him but was to terrified to even consider the idea. "Lily doesn't want to get hurt... James should just accept that. It's well known that if you get involved with a Marauder... Well, you get hurt." She didn't stay to watch the confusion cover his face, or the shock and hurt to grow behind his eyes.

Hurrying up the stairs after her best friend, she threw open the door to the seventh year girls Dormitory. The room was empty for the exception of the tall redhead standing by the open window, her shoulders shook as tears poured from her eyes. Roxy hurried over, enveloping her friend in her arms and letting her cry into her shoulder. She knew Lily's heart was breaking with an immense amount of pain, it was exactly what Roxy wanted to avoid in life. Love always ended in pain.

"What happened?" She asked as Lily pulled away, her eyes blood shot. "I thought you were just going to talk to him?" She nodded.

"I was going to... that was the plan. "

"But?"

"I saw him... He was standing there, completely perfect, like always." Roxy couldn't help but feel shocked, this was the closest Lily had ever come to admitting her feelings for James. It was startling, seeing her friend broken apart over her own romantic feelings. "I couldn't help it. I was so angry at him. This is all his fault!" She almost screamed.

"What is?"

"These feelings.." Her hand came to her heart. "I didn't want them... It shouldn't work this way. It's not fair that he can be a horrible prat and then actually get me to fall in love with him."

"I guess that's life... It makes sense why I avoid it, doesn't it?" Lily looked at her sympathetically, before nodding. "Well, love. You've got to get over yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"You know exactly what I mean, even the girls would agree. Even Marlene" Roxy curled her lip causing the red head to roll her eyes. "If you don't fix it now you may lose him for good. Stop letting yourself get in your own way. He was hurt today Lily, Sirius says it's because lately you've given him hope and now your taking it away."

"You talked to Sirius about this?"

"No" she chuckled dryly. "He stopped me before I followed you. You're breaking his heart Lily, and he may give up." Lily sighed. Neither girl spoke for several minutes.

"I guess we'll need costumes." Lily smiled, her friend grinning.

"I know how."

  
Roxy hurried back to the common room, it was completely empty for the exception of a dark haired Marauder, laying back lazily on the scarlet couch in front of the roaring fire. Smiling, she hurried over to the boy. Taking a seat next to him, he jumped, clearly taken by surprise.

"Sirius - "

"Geez Roxy! You can't just scare a guy like that."

"Better then levitating you off the couch." The disheveled look left his face and was replaced with a small smile. His brown eyes looked right at her. "It's Roxy now? What happened to king?" He lifted a brow, his smile growing.

"I didn't think it bothered you." His eyes were still on her, making her feel uncomfortable. She removed her eyes from him, looking into the fire.

"It doesn't matter." Suddenly she felt a warm hand caress her knee, her eyes looked down at it as her heart began to race.

"It does, if its bothering you." Roxy swallowed as a cold sweat swept over her. She slowly lifted her hand and swept his away from her body, only letting her hand linger on his for a moment.

"It's fine.. Black." She placed a smile on her lips. "I need to ask you a favor. Lily decided she wants to go to the party.... She needs to talk to him, really talk to him -"

"He's my best friend Roxy, I can't let her continuously hurt him."

"And she's mine. Sirius, please. Not for me, or Lily.. But James. We need costumes." Sirius sighed, mulling the idea over in his head.

Finally, he grinned. Grabbing her hand he dragged her off the couch and out of the common room, before she knew what was happening. She kept asking him where they were headed but he only 'shushed' her as they hurried through the corridors, making random turns.

"Here!" He shouted, stopping in front of a stone statue. He reached up and twisted the statues hand, three times to the left and once to the right. Suddenly the statue moved to the right silently, leaving a gaping hole behind it.

"A secret passage?" Roxy gaped. The boy in front of her grinned, reaching up his fingers grazed her chin, pushing it upwards he closed her mouth.

"Let's go get some costumes." He grabbed hold of her hand again and led her into the dark tunnel.

"But Lily-"

"Are you honestly about to ask me to bring the Head girls into a secret passage?" Roxy smiled, of course he couldn't.

She wondered how many of Hogwarts secrets Sirius and the other Marauders had discovered. Such an old castle must hold hundreds of hidden passage ways and secret rooms. How could they have possibly discovered them? Perhaps they had been told by an older student, maybe as some sort of ritual. The idea wasn't completely ridiculous, they were the Marauders after all. The tunnel had very little visibility, but Roxy could see a soft light up ahead. She watched Sirius' silhouette face her, only imagining the grin painted across his handsome face as he led her further down the passage.

"We're here." His voice slightly above a whisper. A door in front of them inched open, only enough for him to peak out before leading her into a storage room. She could see crates marked with the labels 'quills', 'ink' and 'parchment', there was a dozen more behind them that she couldn't read.

"We're in Scrivenshaft's Quill shop, aren't we?" Roxy asked him in awe. He answered only with a chuckle, gripping her hand tighter in his he pulled her behind him.

Roxy didn't know how he moved so swiftly as he lead her out of the storage room and into the shop without the wizard at the front hearing them. As she got closer to the front door she realized exactly why he hadn't made a single movement as they snuck out of his shop. He sat in a large arm chair, his head laying against his chest as he breathed rhythmically in his sleep.

"Ever single time we come through this passage, blokes always asleep!" Sirius chuckled quietly as he opened the door and led her out into the fresh autumn air.

"Merlins beard! Sirius!" Roxy half yelled.

"Do you want detention? You don't need to shout." Sirius whipped around suddenly, causing Roxy to bump into his well sculpted chest. She gasped, taking a step back.

"It's freezing!" She glared up at him.

"Shall I give you the clothes off my back? I know you've always wanted to undress me." Winking, he turned around ignoring her fiery gaze and hurried towards the dress shop that carried costumes before Halloween. Without a word, Roxy followed the boy, unsure how it was possible he was making her laugh at one moment and burn with fury the next.

"I think you forget how fast I am with a wand.. Black." With a sly smile on her lips, she pushed passed him. Hurrying into the shop, reminding herself she needed to find a few costumes for Lily and her friends. Sirius didn't even stick around to help her, but instead went off in the opposite side of the shop.

She was surprised at the endless amount of costumes the shop held, she could be here for days but only had a very short amount of time, she hurried over to the racks and quickly grabbed some costumes . She picked out a pink, long sleeve cheetah print dress with cat ears for Mary, knowing just how excited her bubbly friend would be at the sight of the flirty costume. For Dorcas she picked out a one piece prisoner costume, she chuckled picturing her sweet friends annoyance. But Roxy felt it was perfect, Dorcas was always nice and innocent, Halloween was about dressing up as something completely different from yourself, and a convict was very far away from her friend.

"Almost done?" Sirius suddenly appeared at her side, a bag clutched in his hand.

"Buy yourself a costume? Or did you decide to surprise you itty-bitty girlfriend?" Cocking a brow, he looked at her in confusion.

"What's your issue with Marlene?" Roxy rolled her eyes, where should she start? Maybe at the time Marlene uncorked her ink bottles and threw them back into Roxy's trunk, ruining every single article of clothing she owned, including a couple sentimental objects. Or all the snide, rude remarks she had made over the last six years.

"Nothing, she's a peach. " Roxy could feel her anger brewing. With a deep breath she turned to the boy. "I've got Dorcas and Mary's costumes, I just need to find one for Lily and we can leave."

"What are you going to wear?" He asked, as he started browsing the racks. Roxy simply shook her head. "What?"

"I don't think I'm going to go -"

"You're kidding me?!"

"Black! If I don't want to go I won't! Got it?" Before he could answer her she escaped to another isle of costumes, hoping she could find her best friend a costume quickly.

Roxy gasped, pulling a mermaid costume off the rack. The fitted, full length deep sea blue dress sparkled with sequins, it had a corset halter top and finished in ruffles, resembling a mermaids fin. A small bag attached to the dress carried a starfish headband.

"King!" She turned around to face Sirius, who was holding up a dark costume.

"I've already found the perfect one for Lily."

"It's not for Lily. " He looked at the dress, "Cold hearted evil queen, it would fit you perfectly." She took a sharp breath, her heart beating faster. How could this adventure start off so light hearted and exciting, and then take a sharp and nasty turn such as this. When did it happen? When they left the quill shop, or when they entered this shop? Maybe it was in between, in the middle of the street. Lost in her own head, she hardly noticed Sirius tear the costumes out of her hands.

"What are you doing?!" She raised her voice, suddenly wanting to whip out her want and dangle Sirius over the Black lake for the Squid to play with.

"I'm guessing you didn't bring your money?" She shook her head, her mouth shut firmly.

After Sirius paid for the costumes they silently left the shop, hurrying back towards the quill and parchment shop. Looking over at her companion, Roxy couldn't stop herself from examining him. His jaw was tense, full lips set in a straight line as the wind blew his dark hair in front of his cool stare. With a quick sweep of his hand, his hair was back in place. Perfectly in place, just like him. Why did he always seem so perfect? He couldn't be, could he?

"Why are you staring at me?" Eyes wide, she stammered in shock.

"I - I - I wasn't.." He stopped, finally looking over at her. He stayed quiet, time passed by, every second feeling like an hour long. She shivered as the breeze blew her hair away from her face, the hem of her shirt lifting slightly.

"Right." Suddenly, taking her completely by surprise, he started to take off his shirt.

"Oh my - What are you doing?!" He rolled his eyes, pulling his long sleeve away from his body and chucking it at her. She caught it in surprise.

"Your cold. " He adjusted his under shirt. She could see ever sculpted inch under the tight shirt.

"Well if you hadn't dragged me out of the common room so quickly - "

"I shouldn't have brought you here anyways." She felt her heart sting, as if his words had physically cut her. "Just put it on and let's go.. I'm freezing now." He started walking off, without a care if she was following or not.

She shouldn't care, she knew. But for some odd, unexplainable reason she did. She felt ever single word he spoke, making her chest sting and her neck sweat. She pulled on his long sleeve, much too long and baggy, it smelled like fresh air and cinnamon. It smelled of Sirius. Shaking her head she jogged over to the boy, who was already at the shop door, holding it open and staring anywhere but at her.

  
Roxy entered her common room, slightly surprised to find it empty. The girls were probably eating in the Great hall or finishing up a couple assignments in the library. She neatly placed the costumes on the girls beds, hoping they enjoyed the surprise. She reminded herself she needed to pay Sirius back as soon as possible. She didn't want him to hold this against her.

She was about to leave the room in search of her friends when there was a tap at the window. Hurrying over, she opened the window to find a brown barn owl with a letter attached to its leg. Sighing, she slowly untied the letter, bringing it over to her bed and sitting down before she opened it.

-

_'Dear Roommate,_

  
_I'm terribly sorry it's taken me so long to reply, It's been a busy week. I also may have forgotten to reply. Which is completely not my fault, seventh year is rather busy. It seems like you've also had a stressful week, sorry to hear. But I have to say, guys may be irritating but they hold nothing up to girls. I swear, sometimes the girls in the school make me want to pitch myself from the astronomy tower. I wouldn't of course, please don't worry about my safety. Or sanity. I hope things have lightened up since you've written to me._   


  
_Remember, with ever letter you send I'm closer to figuring you out._   


  
_Farewell, the Writer.'_   


 

 


End file.
